The Official Writing Challenge
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Incredibly beautiful . . .
01/18/14
Beautiful piece. I like the way it shows the heart's desire and finds comfort in God's love.

Just a suggestion: your fourth line might deliver a better rhythm with 6 syllables. The line before it is 8. Instead of "Is a bitter friend", try adding one syllable, like: "Is such a bitter friend" and notice the difference. In your second quatrain (set of four line stanzas)you did as I suggest. The 3rd line was 8 syllables and fourth line 6 syllables. The cadence was great there. You can experiment with different numbers of syllables in your lines and see how it can effect each overall piece. Hope that helps. I'm still learning poetry myself, but I enjoy it.

Great work on this one. Keep writing!
01/18/14
Simply beautiful. Thank you.

God bless~