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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Endless (01/09/14)

TITLE: Try again
By Wesley Hesketh
01/09/14


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I drag myself across the yard.
My sins they never end.
The echo of so long ago
Is a bitter friend.

I try, as I ask forgiveness
But it all comes out a lie.
Confused I donít know where to turn
I fail at every try.

Iím looking for the Father
Cannot find Him anywhere.
I hold on to this one hope
With love Heíll always care.

Iím sad Ďcause I canít get it right
It makes me want to scream.
The sins are tearing down my mind
Caught in a dream.

This madness goes on endlessly
But I found a way.
Itís when I knelt on my knees
In tears began to pray.

Father Iím so sinful
My nature gives me up.
Let me be revived again
Not drink from this broken cup.

My love for You is endless
I cannot turn away.
I hear Your voice in whispers
Itís there each time I pray.

I wondered if God forgave me
I looked up in the air.
The clouds streak his signature
Signed there to shows he cared.


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This article has been read 72 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Judith Gayle Smith01/17/14
Incredibly beautiful . . .
Sheldon Bass 01/18/14
Beautiful piece. I like the way it shows the heart's desire and finds comfort in God's love.

Just a suggestion: your fourth line might deliver a better rhythm with 6 syllables. The line before it is 8. Instead of "Is a bitter friend", try adding one syllable, like: "Is such a bitter friend" and notice the difference. In your second quatrain (set of four line stanzas)you did as I suggest. The 3rd line was 8 syllables and fourth line 6 syllables. The cadence was great there. You can experiment with different numbers of syllables in your lines and see how it can effect each overall piece. Hope that helps. I'm still learning poetry myself, but I enjoy it.

Great work on this one. Keep writing!
CD Swanson 01/18/14
Simply beautiful. Thank you.

God bless~