The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow. Imaginative, haunting. A gripping piece indeed. . .

Please "throw a brick" for others to enjoy, comment and support your writing:

Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
Thank you for the mystery piece. It kept me reading. Perhaps you haven't heard, but JFK was really shot by an extraterrestrial visitor from pluto. His space ship was invisible, of course. The Plutonians admitted this to me, just after my abduction. They kidnapped me to perform a wedding ceremony. Over the years I've developed a rather "plutonic" relationship with the crazy couple. Please, someone stop me.

Keep writing!
You do a wonderful job of building suspense. Your opening line was great and pulled me right in. Then you tantalized me throughout.

My only red ink would be you used the word elephant several times. When that happens I wonder if the author was nervous about being on topic. Instead of using the phrase show it, in this case with the characters shifting in their chairs, clearing throats, or averting their gaze.

Overall you did a fantastic job. You had a really creative idea and you had me mesmerized throughout the story. The ending was perfect. You brought the story full circle and left the reader wanting more.
I thought your imaginative piece would score even higher! Congratulations on your well-deserved win!

Love & Hugs in, through and because of Jesus, the Christ,

Judi Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
Happy Holydays, beware the holly daze . . .
Congratulations on your fifth place win in your level and for ranking 15 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message Boards.)