The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/13/13
I don't know what I would have done in this situation, either. I think I would have told my husband. This is a very good, well written story that leaves me wondering what the right thing to do would be, but as they say, silence is golden.
Wow this is a great story. It makes me stop and wonder, "What would I do?" You did a wonderful job of building the suspense.

The only red ink I have is tiny. In order to avoid repeating words in the same paragraph, you might want to try something like: My heart started pounding, and I could feel the beat in my ears.
It helps tighten the sentence a bit too.

Overall, you did an outstanding job with this. You nailed the topic in such a way the discomfort almost jumped off the page. The best thing is it makes the reader stop and think and really examine her own heart. Great job.
Whoa! Glad this is fiction. And yes, if I had to make a decision for God or for friends - God always will win. . .

Please "throw a brick" for others to enjoy, comment and support your writing:

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=37705

Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
12/16/13
I'm with Shann -- overall, you did an outstanding job with this article.

My "red ink" suggestion is also tiny. In the final paragraph, you are talking about your own guilt and asking "I" questions of yourself. Therefore, when you switch to the encompassing "us" in the next to the last sentence "Have some of us taken . . .", consider making those last two sentences a separate paragraph.

You did cause me to ask myself, "Do I take God's grace for granted?"

Keep up the good work.
12/16/13
Very thought provoking and very on topic!
Great story. It is very thought provoking. I'm sure it will leave your readers questioning how they would handle such a situation. Well done.
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