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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Like a Red Rag to a Bull (11/28/13)

TITLE: The Christmas Cattle Market!
By Danielle King


On an ordinary Friday in November
I was on my way to work, still half asleep
There was nothing to distract, as I remember
Until I spied a motley body heap

Now vagrants, drunks and druggies are selective
They tend to choose dark alleys for a kip
But this mob, closely eyed by store detective
Could pass for something else; a comic strip?

Old and young; well heeled, some shabby
Rumps on kerb; a few prostrate
Tall and tiny; fit and flabby
Were they here to demonstrate?

They seemed to me to be quite twitchy
Sort of primed and on the ball
Soon the tension made me itchy
Should I flee, or should I stall?

Curiosity killed the cat, but heck
It nearly strangled me
My scarf, it tightened round my neck
Caught up around a knobbly knee

“Hey, watch it lady; what’s the rush?”
I asked. She looked quite frantic
And then I felt a hefty push
The bods had turned pedantic

“Hey ma’am, get back.” She looked aghast
“I was here since half past four”
He said, “And me at twenty past
That’s a whole ten minutes more!”

The little old lady looked quite miffed
And to the challenge rose
She clenched her tiny fist and biffed
Him smartly on the nose

Cheeks and necks were burning crimson
As the store doors opened wide
Turning now to silly season
As the bods-mob charged inside

I couldn’t tell what sparked such mayhem
Fury, rage and disarray
Nostrils flared; pure pandemonium
In my book, not a normal day

A burly hand fell on my shoulder
“Loitering?” The officer sighed
“No way man! If I was bolder
I’d join the rugby scrum inside”

Suddenly, with no forewarning
Lurched a man, ‘neath hefty load
Silently, a light was dawning
As he reeled and floundered down the road

Followed swiftly by another
Carrying two large screen TV’s
“Get back here, else you’re in bother
Per customer, just one of these”

Security men, like hulks of beef
Decked the man in one
“Get off me mate, I’m not a thief
I bought one - for each son”

Reinforcements followed swiftly
“A rule’s a rule. End of!”
He didn’t cajole, but spoke quite bristly
“Possessing two, then steal you must’ve”

iPod, peaPod, tablet, smartphone
In-store consumerism on a roll
Quickly it became a warzone
Gluttonous punters lost control

It only took a moment
To clear the Cyber stack
A self-appointed proponent
Recruited for attack…

“That greedy low-life bagged the best
What’s this world coming to?
Their eyes bulged out like men possessed
While I’m stood in the queue!

“I’m after ‘em; who’s with me?
They need a right good pasting
‘Tis the season to be merry
Festive fists I am not wasting!”

Despite goodwill to all mankind
In obvious abundance
Was this Christmas redesigned
To wallow in indulgence?

Something strange has washed up here
On Britain’s coastal shores
From where’s unclear; it’s new this year
And it’s causing wars in stores

It only lasted for one day
And made the national news
Then thankfully went on its way
And left us all bemused

I’m not a party pooper
I love to have a fling
Did someone drop a blooper
When they let Black Friday in?

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This article has been read 525 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Bucca12/05/13
You're right about that Christmas "cattle market". It sure can be a zoo (and not just for a few)! Red rags will roll, with plenty of bullish behavior.

Great job!
Noel Mitaxa 12/06/13
Very descriptive and comprehensive coverage of commercialised Christmas getting out of control.
Loved the close...
C D Swanson 12/06/13
Excellent commentary!
God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/12/13
I love this. Oh what a perfect description. I will admit I didn't think the craziness of Black Friday had spread global. I thought it was still inside the states. Congratulations my friend. I'm trying to do my happy dance but my body aches but for you it's worth it. Happy Dance!! (I may have dropped a wiggle or two, but I'll owe it to you!) :)
Judith Gayle Smith12/17/13
Wow and amen! The only red ink I can use is that I wish I had written this excellent piece! Congratulations!
Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV