The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/29/13
What a powerful and moving poem about a topic of great relevance to many of us today. Very well written.
This very well written poem (love the internal rhyme) carries an important message.
11/30/13
I just got done saying, on another entry, about how I don't usually make comments on poems, because I don't feel qualified. But here I go again. :)

You weave an incredible tapestry of words here. This piece is simply mesmerizing and I am in awe of your masterful use of language. And while I am hopelessly unqualified to make any suggestion to someone as skilled as yourself in creating poetry, there is one small thing that broke the spell for me, momentarily. The word "yet" in the last line of the third stanza. It seems to my untrained brain that that line might flow better if that word was just plucked out. But, I clearly do not know what I'm talking about, so please feel free to ignore that completely if it makes no sense at all.

Again, I cannot express enough how excellent ("yet" withstanding) I found this piece to be. Thanks for sharing.
12/02/13
Powerful!

God bless~
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