The Official Writing Challenge
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11/29/13
Wow! This was a powerful story and so well written. As you so eloquently put it, this story had a good outcome, most do not. I'm glad this MC found the courage to leave, and with the help of God and family moved on.

This somber story is one of countless others in the world today, it is hard to swallow, and harder still for the one going through it. I congratulate you on a story well told, and well done. You've managed to write a story about a difficult subject and executed it with style and grace.

Beautiful. This should make the judges sit up and take notice.

I thought it very clever to use a last name that was so close to devil! Nicely done.

Excellent job.

God bless~
11/30/13
As a father of three daughters, this story is agony for me. I pray everyday that none of mine will ever find themselves in this situation. So far my girls all seem to have a good head on their shoulders when it comes to boys, but I keep trying to tell them that the wolf is oh so very clever when it comes to concealment. I think I will make everyone of them read this story.

I only wish that abused women could recognize that a man who would strike a woman in this way is incapable for remorse and when they express remorse, it is always a ruse. If a man ever strikes a woman she should leave immediately and never look back. I know that's easier said, especially from my perspective as a man, but it's the right thing to do nonetheless.

Great job of writing this. Thanks for sharing!
11/30/13
This contest is bringing out a lot of sad stories. So glad she stopped him from abusing her more. Many people say they are Christian but don't act like they are.

Good writing! Blessings, LaVonne
12/01/13
Excellent story and very well written. I like the structure as it leads from a romantic meeting, into marriage, the onset of conflict and the climatic facing of truth.

My red pen didn't even come out until the second last chapter, and really it is only a tinge of pink; not really red at all.

You wrote:

Darby's motherly instincts gave her the courage to go to her parents and her pastor tell them the truth about her marriage.

It needed to either be '... pastor to tell them..' or '...pastor, telling them...'

Like I said, really I'm being very picky on a great story.

I thought our title was excellent and the name Jack Devlin a very clever choice.

I love the flow of this and feel it is a story that needs telling.
12/01/13
Sorry, I meant "Your title" not 'our title was excellent'.

A typo, my apologies.