Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)

TITLE: The Purpose
By dub W
11/14/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Danny wiped the frost from inside his bedroom window. “I hate winter.” His cat looked up at him and yawned. She was curled at the foot of his bed basking in the first morning light.

He leaned back in his computer chair and looked toward the hallway; nobody was stirring on a Saturday morning, but he could smell coffee brewing Mom musta put the coffee on the automatic timer last night . He was now the oldest male in the house since his father passed away.

Danny hadn’t slept well; indeed, he hadn’t slept well in eighteen months. Although he was at home in his own bed, safely tucked away in the Appalachian foothills, his dreams were still in another place; his nightmares constantly woke him.

He pressed his palms to his forehead. “Hey, Jesus, you had your chance, why didn’t you take it. You wait’n to blow me away some other time, what do you want with me?”

“Maybe he has other plans for you.” Angela McGee stood in the doorway.

“Mom, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were up.”

“Coffee’s on, come on in the kitchen; Luke is coming over to get you and your brother. He wants to go shoot some birds, I didn’t know, maybe you’d rather stay home."

“Naw, I gotta get out of the house, been sittn’ here for three days. I’ll go wade around in the snow with those idiots, but I don’t think I will shoot any birds, I ain’t even got a license.” A week ago I was carrying a sixty cal around in a swamp, now I am going to watch these guys shooting popguns at birds.

Minutes later Danny and his brother were seated at the kitchen table. As usual Angela opened her Bible during breakfast. The morning meal was always one of devotion and Bible study. “Okay, what’s on tap today Mom?” Danny took a big swig of coffee.

“Boys, listen to this. From first Peter, ‘And who is he that shall harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good.’”

William held a piece of bacon like a wand. “That’s it, ain’t it mom, Danny is here because of him being one of God’s people.”

“I like to think so William, how about you Danny, any thoughts?”

“Naw, mom, I’m just lucky and grateful to be back here.”

They finished breakfast at the same time Luke, the neighbor showed up at the back door of the McGee farmhouse.

Ten minutes later, Danny, William, and Luke were crossing the snow covered yard and headed for an unplowed cornfield across the road. Major Henry, Luke’s dog, sprinted across the snow and jumped over the barbed wire fence.

“Dog loves winter.” Luke whistled for his dog to stop.

The two hunters walked on in front of Danny; William walked to the right and Luke to the left until the two were several yards apart. Major Henry ran ahead and flushed out birds. Everything was text book until William stepped in a hole.

Danny saw William go down and started to yell but whatever he might have said was covered up by the report and echo of William’s shotgun.

Blood began to cover the snowy ground. Danny immediately ripped through William’s jacket and pulled William out the hole.

The blast had cut through William’s side and blood was gushing from William’s arm. Danny pulled off his own boot and used his long sock to create a tourniquet. “Luke, go get the Jeep out here! Get mom to call the hospital, we’re coming in.”

Luke ran across the field, Major Henry at his heels. Minutes later the powerful 4 wheel drive vehicle was flying down the highway toward the hospital with Danny, Angela, William, and Major Henry.

***

Dr. Smith stood in front of the McGee family giving them some good news. “He will be okay, going to be out of commission for awhile, but we saved the arm, and whoever put on that tourniquet and compress saved his life.” Smith looked at Danny. “Where’d you learn that?”

“I was a first responder until a week ago.”

“Well, God sure had a purpose for you and your training.”

Danny’s mother looked at the M.D., tears were in her eyes.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 826 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips11/22/05
This could have been a confusing peice--but you did such a great job with the writing I was able to follow right along. I enjoyed reading it--good message. God bless ya, littlelight
Cassie Memmer11/22/05
I enjoyed this story. Danny didn't think he had much purpose, but God showed him otherwise. Good job!
Venice Kichura11/23/05
Good story & message
Sandra Petersen 11/24/05
Does this article have a prequel I missed in a previous Challenge? Or is it a novel in the making? There are a few minor punctuation slips, but not so many that the story bogs down.
At the beginning I wondered if Danny was a Viet Nam vet because of certain clues: 1)"his dreams were still in another place; his nightmares constantly woke him"; 2) Danny's statement in P. 4 indicates he was at some time in danger, a faith-shaking kind of danger; 3) Danny's reflection about carrying a sixty cal. around in a swamp (but then his eighteen months wouldn't fit...was he deerhunting the previous week?); 4) the conversation around the breakfast table...Danny was there because he was one of God's people; Danny felt lucky and grateful to be back...aargh-back from where??
Okay, the final paragraphs indicate he was some kind of medic or paramedic...could have learned his skill in Nam, I suppose. I want answers!! :-)
Sandra Petersen 11/24/05
Oops! I forgot to say please.
dub W11/25/05
Yes, Danny was in Nam, the sixty cal. he carried was really too much, should have been lugged. A First Responder, is a person trained to get to the wounded person before the medic gets there. Word count prevented too much more deails.
Julianne Jones11/25/05
Good story and well written. A few editing mistakes (or typos!) but nothing that distracts from the piece. Nice to read something a little different to a lot of the other entries this week. Well done.
Pat Guy 11/25/05
Refreshingly different but two places confused me. The time sequence and the accident. I needed to go back and reveiw but after that, it was great! Thanks for the break!
Suzanne R11/26/05
Winter on so many different levels here! Enough of a plot to keep me focused and trying to anticipate - flowed well - had an overall message - well done!
Shari Armstrong 11/26/05
A powerful reminder of God's timing.