The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/07/13
Encouraging story. Good on you for sharing this.
11/07/13
What a touching tribute and poignant story about your friend Frank. I felt as if I'd known Frank very well after your well written emotional piece. I smiled at the laughter in the beginning (my husband and I love watching the Honeymooners reruns and I heard Ralph Kramden laughing in my head!)

Frank was a loving and dedicated man to his family, and apparently people in general. I'm glad he got the chance to buy his dream car, and good for you knowing that he'd be a good teacher.

I'm sure he's teaching in heaven right this moment.

Thanks for sharing, you touched my heart.

God bless~
Thanks for sharing your memory of Frank's life. It was an interesting read.
11/10/13
Interesting piece, and all the more so knowing it's true. A different take on the topic too. Thanks for sharing.
11/10/13
You do an excellent job of painting us a picture of Frank. Trying to display the growth of a person across a lifetime is really hard to do when you only have 750 words to do it.

On the "red ink" side, at times the piece felt like it jumped from one idea to the next, and as the reader, I had to do a lot of processing to keep up. This is probably because you were tackling the job of presenting Frank's story with only 750 words. I know from personal experience with the challenges and with editing my own writing (with the help of others)that it gets easier to work your words the more you practice. This is a great story--which is the start of every piece of great writing, in my opinion.
11/10/13
Nice job with this.

Like the previous commenter, I think you tried to cover too much in too few words. I think it would have been better to focus on one aspect of his life and expanded on this. Perhaps you could have even taken one of the comments from the students on the memorial page and crafted a fictional story from it to give us the "essence" of Frank.

You did a great job introducing us to Frank, and making him seem like someone we all would have wanted to meet.
I was waiting for the red convertible to emerge as one of those tiny models that fulfill quite a few hopeful's dreams, Frank being content to hold it in his hand and push it madly down the countertop. You surprised me - happily. Thank you . . .
11/14/13
Congratulations! So glad your story got recogntion. It was a winner in my eyes!

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 5th in your level and 21 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)