“I think you should come in now, it’s getting cold.” The voice of my younger brother made me smile.
“You run along, tell the others I’ll be in shortly.”
“Sure?” he asked. I gave him this ‘why are you bothering yourself about me?’ look and said “I promise.”
We had all been through a lot. Everyone needed the vacation and so as a family, we took time off and went to a nice beach resort for a week. I was sitting alone in front of the sea when my brother came. I wanted to enjoy the sound of the waves, the sprinkling of the waters on my body, I wanted the fresh air, it sort of clears your head. I wanted to relax, I wanted to be touched, loved, and cared for in a different way. I knew there was more to life than I was already experiencing. I had achieved so much and progressed in my relationship with God, but I wanted more.
He obviously deeply read my thoughts for as I heaved a deep sigh I heard Him ask me, “Can I touch you?”
“Lord, you’ve touched me before, infact; you’re holding me right now. I don’t understand… touch me?”
“Yes, touch you in a deeper way; we’ll get closer , you’ll never feel I’m not there even when you know that I am, your convictions concerning me will be strengthened, you’ll stop struggling and let go of your total being to me, you’ll see me better, know me better, feel me better and as a result, love me much more. It’ll be a different touch from me; you’ll catch the revelation of the originality of our relationship. Can I touch you? Do you want me to?”
My heart beat faster as I heard those words coming from the Lord Himself. My mind raced to different places. I really wondered.
“But how?” I asked.
“Leave the ‘how?’ to me. Do you want me to?”
I finally resigned myself to Him as I said, “I’m all yours and will forever be.”
Those seven words did it. It started from somewhere inside me, a bubbling feeling of joy that can’t really be described… it was better than being in a Jacuzzi filled with the best scented bath fruits, better than the feeling of joyful pride after a major achievement. It couldn’t be compared with anything beautiful and joyful that I know. I closed my eyes as it performed its rippling effect inside of me. Slowly, it took over my whole being and worked its way out my body surface, I felt that warm sensation I’ve heard people talk about, all over my body.
It was too much… I couldn’t utter any words…this was something beyond His presence; He was touching me, my spirit, my soul, and even my body. I mustered some ambition to speak but when I opened my mouth, I cried like a baby. It was the first time I cried with so much joy. In the midst of the tears, I managed to say "thank you Lord" several times but He was the only one who could hear those words, for they were not coherent even to me. After a while, I heard Him say,“…Sshh…, it’s okay now, I just did a somersault inside you and kissed your heart…”
I still found it difficult to speak but I managed to whisper, “You… are...so …b...ig!” How ...how could …you…live… inside… of… me?” His answer threw me over board. I almost came out of my skin.
“I… love…you…forever…!” He answered the same way I asked.
It was the first time He ever touched me that way. It opened doors to other progressions we have made in our relationship, for He has touched me again and again as the years have gone by.
God is never far away, infact; He’s always in you. If you develop a profound relationship with Him, He’ll always be your first and your best. You won’t ever settle for less because you’ll know that nothing or no one can be compared to His origin and nature.
As for me, He’s remained my first in all things and as I delve deeper into His love and His person, I know that He is my one true love; but it all began after my first deep touch.
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