The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/24/13
This is a powerful story. You grabbed me immediately and pulled me into BJ's world. The pain was palpable. You did a great job of building your characters.

You had some tiny errors that a good proofread would catch. Before you hit submit, always hit preview so you can see how it will look to the reader. That would allow you to fix the spacing issues and perhaps little typos like in this line: I’ve been praying to BJ. Of course, I know you meant:"I've been praying too, BJ." Little things like a comma and an extra o can really make a difference! :)

You did a nice job of handling the topic in a fresh and intriguing way. There are a lot of good messages in this piece. I think different readers will take away different things depending on their needs. That takes great talent to pull off. Nicely done.
10/27/13
Oh my goodness, this pulled on my heartstrings. You did an amazing job with this powerful story. WOW!

God bless~