The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 359 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
That was a wonderful piece, thank you!
10/25/13
An out of the box story, well told. I love all the little details and the way your story unfolds. You're correct in saying the mirror doesn't lie. For that reason I stopped looking into one years ago!
Most enjoyable! Gave me a greater appreciation of wrinkles. They are not only frown or smile lines - they are untold stories waiting to be unfolded. Thank you.
10/27/13
Loved it. I've often heard my patients/clients who live in nursing homes, that they've earned each and every wrinkle and how they embrace them. This story touched me.

Thank you. God bless~
This is a great piece. I love how you took a fresh and original take on the topic. It left me smiling and nodding my head.

For me, the beginning was a tad slow. I think it might have been the sentence structures. For example the line starting with Between is an incomplete sentence. Also I might have rearranged the opener to clarify and tighten it up. I had to read it a couple of times Ex:The visage countering my own has five wrinkles running parallel above my eyebrows.
Also remember when using taglines, you should use a comma instead of a period inside the quote . Ex: "I'm going home," he said.

Once I got into the story, I was totally hooked. I wasn't sure where you were going and found myself hanging onto every word, eager to see where you were taking me. This is one of my favorites this week. It really stands out. It also makes me look at myself in a different way. Excellent writing.
10/31/13
Jennifer,

Congratulations on your lovely story. It was an amazing piece.

God bless you~
Congratulations on placing 4th in your level and 12th overall!