The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/13
Such a clever and penetrating entry for the topic at hand.

Very well done.

God bless~
Wow! What a wonderful allegory. You had me me totally invested in the beginning, and your transition to the Bible message was seamless.

The only red ink I would offer is to use ellipses sparingly. If you overuse them it can be distracting at worst, and at best, lessen the intended impact.

The first part took me back to my childhood. We had a boa constrictor and would have snake feeding night at the Hall's. It was quite gruesome, but so shows how people can get mesmerized by such things. That memory translates into your message with precision. You knocked it out of the park with this devotion.
Wow! What a wonderful allegory. You had me me totally invested in the beginning, and your transition to the Bible message was seamless.

The only red ink I would offer is to use ellipses sparingly. If you overuse them it can be distracting at worst, and at best, lessen the intended impact.

The first part took me back to my childhood. We had a boa constrictor and would have snake feeding night at the Hall's. It was quite gruesome, but so shows how people can get mesmerized by such things. That memory translates into your message with precision. You knocked it out of the park with this devotion.
Congratulations on ranking 16 overall!