Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Exhale (08/15/13)

TITLE: Exhaling Divorce
By lynn gipson
08/20/13


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Breathing in the air so deeply,
Holding back my tears discreetly,
Garnering strength to carry on,
Praying in the morning's dawn.

Disappointment fills the heart,
How to end, where to start.
Fear invades with every thought,
Peace of mind cannot be bought.

Warily trudging through this day,
Life's bent arrows sling this way,
Broken heart continues beating,
Beaten soul continues breathing.

Sorrow greets my ground low spirit,
Laughter peals but I can't hear it,
Overwhelmed by such a grief,
Sadly wearing disbelief.

Days go by I'm still inhaling,
Deep inside my heart is failing,
Breathing in, breathing out,
Air with such a dreadful doubt.

My children laugh to keep from crying,
Beneath the laughter they are dying,
What will become of their sweet souls,
Whichever way the court controls.

Victimization claims the child,
Killing feelings soft and mild,
Breaks a tiny gentle heart,
A little life is torn apart.

All I'm breathing is divorce,
Such a hurtful driving force,
Holding pain until I'm pale,
Waiting silently to exhale.


*My son is going through a divorce. I have listened to him and seen every emotion he is going through. This poem is for him.














.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 199 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 08/22/13
I am honored to be the first to comment on this powerfully jarring poem.

The pain and anguish was palpable in every word of this deeply penetrating well written poem.

I'm so sorry for your son's situation.

I believe that God will eventually lift your son from this heap of despair, bringing him "beauty for his ashes." I know he doesn't see it now, but God will bring something good from this sorrow...he always does.

This poem will touch many hearts with its powerful words and sobering message.
Completely moving!

I will keep all of you in prayer.

God bless~
Brenda Rice 08/22/13
I don't comment on poems because I'm not very good with poetry; however, your entry is so
touching I had to say something.

Been where you are. It ain't fun. God will bring peace and healing beyond your wildest imagination. Amen.

Thanks for sharing.
Jan Ackerson 08/23/13
Your emotions are almost palpable in this heartbreaking poem.

Be mindful of the difference between 'warily' (which means watchfully, cautiously) and 'wearily' (which means tiredly). I think you wanted the latter.

You have a good sense of rhyme and meter, and I'd encourage you to experiment with poem formats that go beyond quatrains with an aabb rhyme scheme. Your talents are ready to stretch!
Noel Mitaxa 08/24/13
You have expressed so much heartache in this work, and we'll take up your family in our prayers. God bless you all in his grace while you await the shape of his blessing in spite of the pain.
Colin Swann08/24/13
Thank you for sharing your broken heart with us in your touching poem. I agree with the others that God will comfort you and see you all through this difficult time.
Mike Newman 08/24/13
I really enjoyed this. I like simpler patterns in poetry and you wrote this one with excellence.

Thank you for sharing.
Danielle King 08/24/13
This poem is so moving. It was written straight from the heart and will touch many people who are experiencing, or have in the past, the pain of divorce. I pray for peace for you and your son and all involved.
Chris Brass08/24/13
Yep, sums up how I felt when I went through mine.
Ellen Carr 08/25/13
This is an extremely moving poem as well as being well-written. May God be a great comfort to your son and in this situation.
Bea Edwards 08/27/13
I hope your son and grandchildren get some degree of comfort from your haunting poem, knowing that you are in touch with where they are at.
Beautifully crafted as usual Lynn, even amidst the pain.
CD Swanson 08/29/13
Congratulations Lynn!
I knew it'd be a winner!

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/29/13
Oh wow! This is so intense and powerful! Until I got to the divorce line I thought you had been peeking into my heart. Your words fit the agony I've lived with and my children had to grow up faster because they had a sick mom. I also stopped and prayed for you, your son, and your daughter-in-law. It's so hard as a mother to see the pain in our babies and feel helpless. God has the ability though to turn a painful situation into something that glorifies his name. Congratulations on your win. I'm doing my Happy Dance because this is a sad situation, but will touch so many people and the writing is exquisite and deserves a Happy Dance (and another prayer :))
Pam Ford Davis 08/29/13
Congratulations!

Wing His Words
Danielle King 08/29/13
Congratulations Lynn. I thought this moving poem would be a winner with the judges. Hope all is well with you all.
Noel Mitaxa 08/29/13
Even while you live through the anguish of the topic, you are keeping your heart open to God and to us. And as you explore God's comfort he will equip you to bring his comfort to others (2 Cor 1: 3-5) further down the track. This win is a testimony to his grace in your family's pain.
God bless.
Genia Gilbert08/29/13
Congratulations! This is wonderful, terrible, and true. I myself have been married many years, but both out children have been here, and the pain is this great. This is a great description and so well written.
Melinda Bozak 08/30/13
Unfortunately I think we've been desensitized to the word 'divorce'. It has become so commonplace anymore that the word, and the pain that it causes, are 'divorced' from each other. In your poem, divorce becomes more than just a word. I'm sorry your son's family (and you) are going through this.
Praying for everyone involved.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/30/13
Congratulations for ranking 2nd in your level and 15th overall!! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)Happy Dance!