The Official Writing Challenge
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08/20/13
Oh I loved this! FOrgiveness is a way of breaking out of bondage. An unforgiving heart will chain you to "things of the world." Forgiveness, invites the light in.

Excellent! Great message!

God bless~
08/20/13
Beautiful story. I am so glad of such a great resolution - the timing was right for both of them.
08/22/13
Congrats on a very well deserved win! Excellent!
08/22/13
Beautiful story of forgiveness. One of the greatest blessings in life. Congratulations on your first place win.
08/22/13
Congrats! God bless~
Wow, this is a wonderful story. You brought tears to my eyes, and it made me think a bit about my entry last week. Forgiveness and letting go can be quite difficult for us humans.

I think the only reason it didn't rank higher overall is because in the beginning it was kind of hard to figure out who the characters were and what type of personality or emotions they had. If you could have added just a tiny indicator like Pop raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?" I also thought he drove away yet he was there after the MC collapsed, so that was a tad confusing. Just fine tune some of that and I could see this piece in a magazine or a collection of short stories. Oh, and one tiny thing; it's no biggie because it's in his thoughts, but since it is confusing I thought I'd point it out. This line: Wasn't it her that wanted such an exotic holiday in the first place? should be Wasn't it she. With the verb to be, you should use the nominative case (I, she, he,) not the objective case (me, her, him) A way to remember it is to switch it around: You wouldn't say her was not it, but she was not it. However, it's becoming common to use it the way you did, and because it's the MC's thoughts, it's quite possible that he would think it the way you wrote it. So you may be scratching your head wondering why I'm going on like this...my kids ask me the same thing all the time! :)

Seriously though, you did an amazing job on this piece. The pain is palpable, the characters realistic and genuine. You really grabbed my heart with this piece. You have grown as a writer so much since I've been following your work, and you were quite good at the beginning of FW. You write stories that people can relate to. The message of forgiveness is such a powerful one. You also show what a difference prayer can make. I'm doing my Happy Dance for you! Congratulations!
Congratulations on placing 15 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)
08/26/13
Thank you Graham for this wonderful story about the art of forgiveness.
It's a bondage that can be difficult to break while we are hurting and blaming.
My wonderful man has reminded me that we are not each others enemies. It's good to remember that with all people whom we are in relationship with because our enemy attacks us many times through the ones we love most.
Beautifully crafted and congratulations on your level win.