Come! Gather ‘round, you curious;
behold the latest of my pets!
Though acquiring them was trouble,
my investment’s without regrets.
They’re exotic, entertaining,
quite the spectacle for my mind.
They’re useful too, and quite content,
inside the cages I’ve designed.
Yes, regard my grand achievement;
for throughout countless cosmic nights,
I labored to train these creatures,
now their deference—what delight!
Seeds of myself, have I planted,
and watered their weak minds and flesh.
By giving them a few craved treats,
I swayed their wills, with mine, to mesh.
Oh, aren’t they an intriguing bunch?
(Though not popular, I might say.)
These foreign beasts need protection,
from those that would cast them away!
See? There is Pastor Rein, my swine,
more rare than I’d like him to be.
Behind closed doors he’s a pervert;
his rare trait needs breeding, you see.
Over there, are my two parrots,
Sister Grey and Sister Birch.
Those two can stir up such gossip;
they know how to bring down a church!
Elder White is my polar bear.
He’ll swiftly strike anyone down;
that tries to mess with tradition
or treads on his false, sacred ground.
Look! Over there—Sister Diamond.
(You know how I love a good snake!)
She sits waiting to sink venom,
into those that make a mistake.
Brother Ben is my crocodile.
He pulls under, drowns, shreds apart;
blabbing lack of faith in the poor,
and those hit by my fiery darts.
Just look at my many monkeys,
such variety in the lot!
Who cares their names? They’re all flunkies,
mimicking my best working plots.
And Brother Tom there; my prized wolf;
slyly sneaks sin in, without fight.
With political correctness;
he gets wrong accepted as right.
Ah! Brother Bell, my hyena;
his self-righteous laugh—gives me thrills!
With church board packs, he heads attacks,
and eliminates, maims and kills!
These animals are my treasures;
they are exotic to the core,
with my spirit…And I want more!
Demons! Listen to your master!
Guard this human-zoo of mine well;
for each must get their due reward…
Eternity with me, in hell!
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