I am a perfect example of a miracle, I am. It was not so long ago that I was a perfect example of an anxiety attack. Driven by a thousand forms of fear, I made more than a few wrong turns on the back road of life that often led me to Hell's door. Broken hearts, broken relationships, nightmares, and terror pretty much summed up my life.
Until a few years ago, I did what many people do when they are afraid, I ran. I sprinted hard and fast from life, love, and chances at happiness. There were short periods in my life in which happiness was handed to me, and I was so terrified at the feeling I could not leave fast enough.
When I was four years old, I was brutally assaulted by a caregiver. I tried to flee from my attacker but was overcome. As I look back, I realize it was at that point my need to run away from things manifested itself and did not cease until four years ago when I hit a brick wall. Seizures from a potentially deadly brain tumor stopped me in my tracks.
While I was in the hospital recuperating from brain surgery that left me unable to talk coherently or use my right arm and leg, the doctors discovered stage four cancer in my colon that had spread to my uterus. They announced this news to me along with the diagnosis that even with major surgery my time on earth would be very limited.
Where does one run from death? Suddenly I was still. It was in that stillness that Christ came to me in the middle of the night with a quiet, reassuring voice telling me not to worry, and I knew it to be the voice of God.
Following the next surgery and during a lonely month's stay in the hospital, I came to know God. Every night I would lie awake in the dark quietly breathing His presence and feeling His omnipotent love. By the comfort of His warmth, I began to heal in those precious night hours when peace enveloped me.
Opening my heart and soul to Christ on those many nights, I begged His forgiveness for a sorrowful life. It seemed imperative to cleanse my soul because I wanted to go to a better place than this world if God decided it was my time. Perfect peace was made with my Maker, and I was reborn.
I spent the next two years in various stages of cancer treatment, all the while thinking I was going to die soon. Then, a miracle! My cancer was in remission. Hallelujah! God had spoken. It was not my time.
Four and a half years have passed since my first surgery. In this past year, there have been three flare-ups with small tumors in some scar tissue, but they were quickly taken care of with minor surgery and radiation.
The use of my right arm and leg came back soon after the second surgery, and my brain caught up with my tongue a few months later. The most amazing thing is that God has given me the ability and strong desire to become something I have always wanted to be, a writer.
Only God knows what my future will be, but it holds no fear for me. My life is in His hands. My heart is ready to accept whatever His will is for me. Happiness is mine these days, and as for my illness, I would go through it all again in order to be the person I am today. A person who lives in peace. A person who knows Jesus.
Writing about my experience with cancer is something I do often to share with the world what a perfect example of God's works and wonders my life has been. Still mystified that He would save a wretch like me, I write to reach others with my message of faith and hope. Christ healed me; he can heal anyone.
I am a perfect example of a miracle.
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