The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 209 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is so lovely. I enjoyed your characters and their deep friendship.

The only red ink I might offer has to do with taglines like he said or she wailed. If you feel you need to use them instead of a narrative line, try to stick to the simple she said or asked. For something like wail you could use a narrative line to show the emotions. EX: She threw her hands in the air and waved them back and forth. "Sometimes I want to run away..." That way you still show the reader who is speaking, but it also paints a picture for them.

I really liked your message. Life is rarely how we expect it to be and God does have plans that may require an expansion of our minds. Your scriptures back that up and your prayer at the end is heartfelt and passionate. I like it when a prayer is included because many people have no idea how to speak to God.
07/27/13
Your dialogue between the close friends is believable, your MC is believable especially to any one over 60. I enjoyed your entry. Thanks.
On topic and thoughtfully written. Well done.
A wonderful article to keep writer's moving forward.