Yeah, okay, we had a wonderful working and even ‘friend’ relationship for years. Yeah, I miss her, but I had to move on. I didn’t create the circumstances, but I sure had to find my way through them - and that’s what I did.
No, I haven’t been in touch with anyone I used to work with and especially not with her, my previous manager, who was a dear friend and confidante. Sometimes you have to burn bridges. Like I said, I didn’t create the circumstances. I was pretty much a victim.
Why get back in touch? It’s best to leave things as they are. We’re all happy, we’ve all moved on and the place didn’t fall apart without me.
So, why do I think about it so much?
“Expand your horizons.”
What? Who is that? Is that you, God?
You can’t seriously have meant for me to stay in that job. What do you mean, ‘expand my horizons’. I’m doing fine. You know I have a new job, I prayed to you for it. You helped me to get it. Seems to me like that is ‘expanding my horizons’.
You want me to call her, don’t you?
That is so not-in-my-comfort-zone.
I didn’t lie to her, you know I didn’t. The reason for leaving that I gave her was really the reason. (Well, it was one of them, anyway.) I never said I was ‘retiring’. Somebody else said that, I just never countered. What difference did it make?
Integrity was so important to her. She was always honest to me. (Was she really? Always? - she’s human, you know.)
I don’t remember her phone number anyway.
“Expand your horizons.”
Step out of my comfort-zone? Again?
I stepped out of that comfort zone two weeks ago when I had to call a new supervisor. She kept leaving me notes, some of them seemed demeaning. Maybe if we would ever have seen each other face to face it would have been different, better communication and all that, but we work different shifts. I got so frustrated with all the notes I couldn’t stand it. I just had to clear the air. I called her and she wasn’t expecting it. It was so freeing! I believe she was at a loss for words at first, but we ended up with a good understanding and new-found respect.
If I called my old manager I’m sure she’d talk to me. It might be kind of stiff and awkward at first, but surely it’d get easier. I could tell her more details. I could tell her I didn’t mean to mislead her, letting her think I was retiring. I could tell her exactly what happened. I think she’d understand. If she wouldn’t understand, at least I would have tried.
Maybe we could be friends again! How I’d like that.
I’m going to have to call her. That comfort-zone thing of mine is a lie, a wall I hide behind.
I need to mend a friendship. I need to rebuild (re-weave?) my network.
I need to expand my horizons.
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