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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Expect (07/11/13)

TITLE: Game of the Year
By Dave Walker
07/18/13


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This is the best game of the year. I wonder if he'll be here. I don't 'spect so. He always says he will, but he's never come. Even 'fore he left, he never came. I always fought it was 'cos he and Mom were fightin' so much. He always seemed so cross. But I didn't 'spect him to leave. Me and Billy couldn't believe he would just leave us. When he took us for a burger and sundae we both fought, "At last, he's takin' time wif us." We suddenly felt special. But then he told us he was akshully takin' time away from us.

I must say, when we see him now, he gives us treats 'n fings and spends more time wif us then he ever did, but He's not at home. Anyway, when I told him 'bout the game when we saw him Wednesday, he said, like he always does, "That's great, Mikey! You're the pitcher. I got to come 'n see that game." I got so excited, but then Billy said, when we went to bed, "That's what he always says" And he was right. I said, "But he was talkin' 'bout Jesus." and Billy said, "He talks about lots of fings, like love and goodness and that, but he still left Mom and he still doesn't see us much."

I said, "But he buys us stuff. He must love us." and Billy just said "Hmff" and I knew what he meant.

So I'm not 'specting him to come today. I'm hopin', but that's different from 'specting.

There's Joe's dad over there. Joe's not very good, but his dad tells him that he is and that makes him feel good, so he keeps on tryin'. And Pete's dad. He's divorced, but Pete says he comes to see him at home and he tells him, "Now you make sure you listen to your mom, you hear?" Pete says it's quite funny. He doesn't know why they're divorced.

They're movin' up on their seat. There's someone else comin'. I wonder who that is. I haven't seen him here before. Hey! Hey! It's Dad. Hey, everyone, that's my dad. The one in the blue shirt. The one who's shakin' Pete's dad's hand. I fink he said it was Pete's dad told him 'bout Jesus. That's my dad! He's come to see me play. Boy, this is goin' to be the best game ever!


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This article has been read 114 times
Member Comments
Member Date
harvestgal Ndaguba07/18/13
What a touching story. I loved it. Strait from a child's heart.
Glynis Becker 07/19/13
So sweet, right on topic and the voice is so authentic. This made me smile. Great job.
Sheldon Bass 07/20/13
Loved the kid's language, especially the "akshully". This is a big issue to deal with. There are so many broken homes today! You alluded to the way Jesus had made a difference in the father, but I feel that point could be just a bit stronger. I wish this piece was longer, and I hope you'll add to the story. You have a good idea here. Good work.
CD Swanson 07/23/13
Good job, I really liked the story and the authentic voices. God Bless~