Darkness poured over me in folds of velvet,
Binding me as tightly as the strongest ropes of hemp.
I could see nothing around me, and all I could hear
Was the steady beating of my heart
With its pounding repetition: Steven, Steven, Steven,
The name I had lovingly spoken to my unborn son
As he nestled in the warmth of my womb.
He had been snatched away before he could take a breath.
Never would he share with me his little smiles,
Nor would I hold him when he cried
And watch him take his first faltering step.
The many dreams Iíd had for him
And my joyous expectations for his future
Would not now ever come to pass.
I knew my husband was nearby,
Immersed in grief all his own,
But I could not feel his touch
For the oppressive blackness that restrained me.
All hope was gone.
I half awoke from the unbearable dream,
Still weighted down with a heavy burden of sadness.
I felt I had become sister to all mothers of unborn babies.
Before even I opened my eyes, a ray of golden light grew
Until it shone in an aura of glory all around me.
I saw my little son in the company of God and the angels,
Playing happily with other unborn babies
That had preceded him to that holy place.
I began to feel the constraints that had bound me
Ease away as I anticipated that day
When I would see my once expected child again
In heavenís playground, and I imagined him there,
Running to meet me and jumping into my arms.
Once fully awake, I found my hope restored
In the comfort that God offers for every expectant mother
Who has suffered such a grievous loss.
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