The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/15/13
I enjoyed the dialog. The story is timeless. When will there be an end to marital violence? It's hard to write local dialog, but you did good. Thanks.
06/19/13
Music helps so much. Thank you for sharing:)
You did a really nice job of building this character. I could easily picture sitting there next to him listening. I did struggle with trying to follow the story because of the accent. It gives the MC a lot of character, but next time you may want to consider possibly having a narrator to break it up a bit. You did tell a powerful story though and once I did get through it all, I was so touched by the MC. He is a very likable character. Congratulations for placing 3 in your level and 20 overall!