Restoration began with the humming sound upstairs in the library. I was restocking books when I heard it. No one else seemed to hear it. It was like music, like a choir singing. Only they were humming. I looked around to see if it was someone's ipad or phone, but no one was close by.
I followed the sound up the library steps to the second floor and on to the third floor. Still I heard it above me. The only thing above the third floor was an old unused attic. As long as I'd been working at the library it had always been locked. I didn't know of anyone who might have the key.
I walked up the creaky steps to the attic. I could see glowing colorful lights beaming from a small crack under the door. The humming sounded heavenly. The tune was beautiful. It was a worship tune. One Iíd never heard before. I didn't want to interrupt them so I tiptoed to the door and leaned my ear against it as gently as I could; oh so glorious. I closed my eyes and saw myself dancing. As I danced, a keyboard joined in. Then the drums joined. I jumped and twirled and danced with all my might. I was dancing before The King. Gold glitter rained down on me. I was in deep worship.
I was so lost in my daydream; I never noticed when the door opened. Nor when I twirled into the room or when the door shut behind me. I opened my eyes to... a heavenly disco scene. That's the only way I can describe it. It was pure, peaceful and colorful. It was refreshing. It was radiating through my soul. But where were the hummers, the humming choir? Where was the one playing the keyboard and the drummer? I heard them. I felt their presence but I could not see them.
Someone was before me. I could feel it. Suddenly a golden light appeared then took the form of a young lady.
I was shocked. She knew my name.
"Yes," I replied too surprised to say anything else.
"Loretta, we need the words to the worship song we're singing."
Then I saw them; the Angelic choir that filled the room.
I had a sudden flashback of me as a child sitting out in the backyard. I would hear the humming of a tune than the words would come to me.
Everyone loved the songs. They thought they were beautiful. They couldn't believe a child could write such lyrics. I wanted to be a songwriter. Nothing else fulfilled me like writing songs.
But when dad found out he got angry.
"No child of mine is going to be a songwriter. What foolishness is this?"
He proceeded to tell me why I could never be successful as a songwriter and that I needed to leave the foolishness of writing and start preparing myself for a real job. Every day he drilled into me the importance of getting a "real" education, leaving behind childish dreams.
I kept hearing the humming for a while, but I stopped writing the lyrics. Soon after that, I stopped hearing the tunes being hummed. And the music that made life so beautiful left my soul.
Then life got hard, a constant struggle to make things happen, only to fail again and again. I failed out of college. We buried my father. A year later, I buried my mother. I got married only to discover I'd married an abuser. He beat the crap out of me till I finally left him. The songs tried to come and help ease my pain but I wouldn't let them.
Last month a co-worker invited me to Church. The music, oh the music, I wept so hard during praise and worship. Something broke inside me and I gave my heart to Jesus.
Since then I lived in praise and worship. It brought the joy back to my soul. I was a worshipper. Yes, a worshipper from the very core of my being.
The lyrics came like a flood. They just came to me, erupting from my being like a fountain that had been held back for so long.
You are so beautiful Lord
The light of my being
The joy I'm beholding
Fulfillment of my dreamsÖ
Now, Iím the praise and worship leader at my church and a songwriter. But the tunes come from the hummers, the heavenly hummers.
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