The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/06/13
Though I was slightly put off by the constant thumps, the concept of them representing the backdrop of ongoing building is an excellent one for sound and rhythm as were the many concrete verbs you used. Use of word skyscraper was intriguing. I was set off balance with variations from what seemed deliberate rhyming patterns which then disappeared and others appeared but nothing seemed consistent; same with stanza lengths. Worth spending more time chipping away at it to uncover the sin-to-grace parallels of Bable and New Jerusalem--captivating concept.
06/10/13
Definitely a powerful message, and intriguing structure.
06/13/13
I thought this a brilliant piece that was amazing in depth and overall comprehension. Fantastic!

God bless~
06/15/13
Congratulations, Nancy! Wonderful entry.