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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Thump (05/30/13)

TITLE: Did You Hear That?
By Jack Taylor
06/05/13


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Did you Hear That? A Monologue

I donít know about you big fella but I am getting scorched out here. What are those rodents waiting for?

You know, this thing is getting kind of heavy. Iíve been working out and all but this is getting ridiculous. I was using it for a shade maker but you can only hold it up so long. I heard that even a feather can feel heavy after six hours.

Why in the world did we put the camp in that area? Did you notice? The others guys have a way better view from up there.

You must be getting hoarse my man after all that yelling. You might as well have been screaming at the mountains. They ainít budging.
Backbones made out of jello, no doubt.

Not like the old days. My grandfather says our gang wiped these guys out big time and stole some treasure chest that just took the umph right out of them. Trouble was, the rascals had covered it with some kind of biological warfare that almost decimated some of our towns. We sent it back to give them a taste of their own medicine.

My dad says that they had some old guy leading them a few years back. He herded them all together at some place called Mizpah. Tried some kind of incantations to scare us off but we brought the whole army to stuff them down once and for all. Wouldnít you know it? Storm season started.
Thunder so loud it seemed like the gods were bopping you on the head. Ground shaking. Hard to focus on a fair fight when the world is collapsing all around you. Dad went back to fishing after that.

Did I ever tell you about my cousin Marv? He came here once to a place called Micmash. A couple of these jokers showed up and challenged the whole army. So my cousin Marv says to the commander. The rats are crawling out of their holes. So the commander leans over the cliff they were standing on and he yells down. ĎCome on up here and weíll teach you a lessoní. So the two of those rats they climb up the cliff. They took out twenty of our guys before we were even ready. We were just about to set up a counterattack when the ground starts shaking and breaking up. Everyone ran. Marv says they were lucky to get out of there. Hard to get a good fight these days.

It sure is hot out here. I think I need a drink.

Wait. Look over there. One of the rats is coming down the hill. Ainít very big. No uniform. No weapons. Probably the waterboy. Heís only got a shepherdís staff. Scum.

Just as I thought. Thirsty. Heís heading for that stream. This isnít fair. Thatís where I was going. He doesnít even have a gourd to carry the water in.

Hey, big guy. Do you want me to take him out? I could squash him like a bug. If you give me that javelin of yours I could knock him silly with that fifteen pound spearhead.

Hey, heís looking this way. Probably shaking in his sandals. Heís picking up rocks. Stupid kid. My neighbour Eschol was a rock collector. You bring those things home and where do you put them. Fills up the house and takes up all your space. All you have to do is go outside and thereís a ton more out there. No wonder these guys are hiding. The intelligence of termites.

I never did ask you how your brothers are doing. Iíve never seen a family with so many big boys. What did your mamma feed you anyway? I bet you could eat a whole cow at one meal.

Iíd love to listen in on one of your conversations and hear all those glory stories. Battle after battle.

Wait! Heís moving in this direction. Heís taking some kind of sling out. I think heís shaking and quaking big man. Letís get him while we can. Stay close behind me bro. This shouldnít be long.

Hey, nice insult about being a dog and feeding his flesh to the birds.

You tell him big guy. Did you hear his threat? Who does this pipsqueak think he is? Iíll whack him and you can finish him off.

Let me pick up a rock to squash him.

Wait. Did you hear that thump? Goliath? Goliath?

*I Samuel Goliathís shield bearer


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This article has been read 219 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 06/09/13
Interesting perspective on a familiar Bible story. Nicely done.
Sunny Loomis 06/12/13
Nice take on this familiar story. Thank you.
CD Swanson 06/13/13
Great retelling of a very well-known passage. I always love Biblical stories in any aspect.

Thank you. God bless~
Danielle King 06/13/13
Congratulations on your win. Great retelling of the story.
Vince Martella06/13/13
Congrats. Love this familiar story told from this fresh perspective. Well done.
Charla Diehl 06/15/13
Congratulations on taking 2nd place with this entry. You brought this familiar story to life in a new way.
Leola Ogle 06/15/13
Congratulations, Jack. Love this!