The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/30/13
Great approach to the first miracle in the Bible performed by Jesus. I enjoyed your story...nicely done.

God Bless~
This is a great devotion. I especially enjoyed your rantings. You have a subtle sense of humor and I'm sure I'm not the only one who could relate to the MC (or at least to his wife as she was a hoot too)

My only red ink would be to suggest you try to get rid of what I call pesky passives (pp) like the word was. Your opening paragraph uses it a couple of times. Using an active verb will pull the reader into the story more. You also used the word problem three times in the opener. Maybe something like this might work: While the guests enjoyed the celebration, a problem started brewing in the back room. No one wants to confront a quandary during a wedding.
It's not perfect and there is a slight cheesy take on the word brewing, but I hope it helps show what I'm trying to say.

I think you did a great job of bringing the story to life. I have to admit, I didn't remember that the woman was Jesus' mother. That really makes a huge difference to me personally. How cool is it that his mother was there to witness his first public miracle. Because of your story, I'll never forget that detail again. You did a great job of pulling the topic in. I also liked how you married the past with the present. It's a great representation of the truth. Well done!
05/31/13
Great honesty here, and shows us ourselves a little too well. Good writing. I enjoyed this.
06/05/13
Great story here. I can relate to other drivers and the power company woes. I enjoy your style of writing very much. Thanks for sharing this take on the miracle of changing water into wine.