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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)

TITLE: Just a Bite
By Jack Taylor


Just a Bite

It might have been that everything was so new. The gardens seemed fresher this dawn. The dew sparkled brighter. The world seemed so innocent and alive. A doe watched a trio of squirrels ricocheting off the tree branches of a nearby oak in an uninhibited game of chase.

The young bride slipped away from the side of her dozing husband and scooped up a mouthful of crystal clear water from the stream they had rested by. The jasmine titillated her senses as she breathed deeply of the fresh air. A breeze tickled her cheeks and nudged her long flowing tresses from off her shoulders.

She gloried in the light of a new day and knelt quietly to spy on the darting fishes in their azure habitat. After looking around she slipped into the cool water and dipped up to her shoulders. The coolness sent a shiver down her spine and she relished the excitement of what this new life might mean for her. Without inhibition she emerged and made her way to her husband.

He stirred when she nudged him playfully in the back with her toe.

His side was still tender from a recent wound but when he rolled over and saw his new bride, as she was, he was overwhelmed with awe that this angelic beauty should be his.
Without shame he took her into his arms and relished the delights of love.

The day passed quickly as the pair strolled through nearby gardens and forests. Exploring. Creating their own paths. Calling out the names of wildlife they glimpsed along the way. Chattering as if the words they spoke could not be created fast enough to express all they felt inside.

The doves and eagles and sparrows and parrots spiralling and gliding and flitting and floating energized their spirits to dream of reaching into the skies and leaving the ground they trod. Their hearts burst with song for their creator as they attempted to join in the chorus of the creation that slithered and crawled and jumped and ran around them.

Neither of them was rattled by the hiss. Nor the rhythmic vibrations that accompanied it as if dried seeds in a pod were being shaken back and forth. The sounds of life were just the sounds of life and every sound was the source of a new adventure and a new mystery being unfolded.

The sun was warm on their backs and all their senses were fully engaged with their perfect garden hideaway.
Communing with the Creator had been so easy in this Eden of delights.

Everything seemed to be just as it was meant to be. No stress, no pressure, no tension. The perfect honeymoon for the perfect couple.

The conversation started as easily as breathing. The young bride caught the vibrations of the whisper first. She was enchanted that another voice had been discovered. It was if her soul was charmed into the allure of the hidden one.

When the source of the voice was finally discovered, the absolute dazzling wonder that beheld her eyes didn’t raise any level of hesitation to keep up a dialogue. The verbal jousting was playful. Questioning lightly the veracity of the things her husband had warned her about. She didn’t hesitate to parry and add her own thoughts as well.

Knowing that her husband was nearby she didn’t even dream of the real temptation that drew her in. She considered the option placed before her. Never had she doubted her Creator’s wisdom or benevolence. Never had she considered that he had withheld anything from her hand.

The dare seemed harmless. Tantalize your palate. Enrich your mind. Expand your experience. Know for sure what is good and what is not.

The pulp was rich and exotic. Sweet. Worth the test. The new bride shared the treat without hesitation and her husband took his share.

This time the pair was rattled at the hiss and rhythmic shaking. Their paradise had been invaded. They weren’t dressed for visitors. They stretched out to cover themselves as the sound of footsteps came closer.

The visitor knew the pathways of the garden well and soon approached their hiding place. The voice echoed through the thick vegetation. “Where are you?”

The young groom scanned his hastily covered bride and stepped out from his sanctuary. “I heard you coming. I wasn’t really covered properly. That’s why I hid.”

Blame. Shame. Hiding. Bitterness swallowing sweetness. Over and over. It takes just one bite of temptation.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Bucca05/17/13
This take on the first temptation is wonderfully written. You do a great job showing how Adam and Eve went from being totally at peace to suddenly quite rattled. Nice work.
Carolyn Ancell05/21/13
Just as soon as I caught on that this was Adam and Eve, I smiled. What a wonderful, descriptive presentation of the Scripture!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/23/13
Congratulations on ranking 8 in your level and 15 overall!