The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/11/13
Ingenious. Loved your characters and smiled all the way through this. Thanks for sharing this original and unique take on the topic!

BLessings, Lynn
05/11/13
This story was certainly not lacking on characters...Nice job with the subject/topic, and an interesting ending.

God bless~
05/11/13
A real western cowboy tale, with wonderful, realistic dialogue and suspense.

"As grease blinded..." does keep the topic in mind, but I would suggest: "As sweat blinded..."

I loved how the story ended with good overcoming the bad.
It is so true - bacon and waffles do go wonderfully together!

Your characters are so delightfully imaginative!

Have a blessed Mother's Day . . .
05/12/13
I loved your story. You painted an interesting scene. I really liked the ending. At the beginning you talked about a machine gun, based on the rest of the story, I wondered if that was out of place. Would machine guns be in the Wild West? I could be wrong. I'm glad waffle got to talk about the maker instead of meeting him.
05/14/13
You crafted a grand tale. There is another similar word play story with a Ness-ish twist. Enjoyed both of these creative clever entries immensely.
Congratulations on ranking 2 in your level and 21 overall!