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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sizzle (05/02/13)

TITLE: Fiery Beauty
By Allison Egley
05/08/13


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Austin watched his classmate, Darren, as he walked into the classroom. Floated might be a better word. "Well, you certainly look happy today, Darren."

"I'm in love."

"You are, huh? Who's the uh... lucky lady?"

"I don't know her name."

Austin raised an eyebrow. "You're in love, but you don't know her name?"

"Nope. I see her walking down the hall ever day after this class, and I finally got the courage to talk to her. I said 'Hi!' And do you know what she did next?"

"Uh..."

Darren cut him off. "She said 'Hi!' And she smiled at me."

"So what does she look like?"

"She's beautiful. Stunning. Hot. No, she's more than hot. She's.... sizzling!"

Austin bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Sizzling, huh?"

"Yep. Sizzling. She has this bright red hair that's kind of... wild. It looks like a sizzling fire. Her bright red toe nails peek out from her sandals. Then there's her body. And her smile. Yeah. She's just... sizzling."

"You normally see her after this class? Maybe I'll walk to your next class with you and you can show me."

"Sure. But right now, Ms. Trimble is starting class, so we'd better be quiet. The only time she's sizzling is when she's mad. And we both know we don't want that."

Austin nodded knowingly. "I'm right there with you, bro."

The bell rang, and Austin followed Darren. Darren pointed. "There. Right there. See her? With the red hair?"

Austin strained his neck until he caught sight of her. He stopped in his tracks and held out his arm, holding Darren back. "Darren, that's my sister. And I have two words for you. Hands. Off. Actually, I have a few more words for you. If you don't keep your hands off and leave her alone, you'll have to deal with me. And I'll make sure you will be the one sizzling, if you catch my drift. Caphice?"

Darren's eyes grew wide, as he threw his hands up in the air. "Caphice. No problem. I won't touch her I promise. Just tell me one thing... What's her name?"


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This article has been read 196 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Noel Mitaxa 05/10/13
Aahhhh, what are friends for? Obviously Austin is a secretive type, not at all Austin-tacious.
You've conveyed such natural dialogue that it's easy to step into the scene. Well done.
lynn gipson 05/11/13
Lovely little love story. Takes me back to my school days when I was in love with a boy walking down the hall everyday. Problem was he had a steady girl friend.Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with this wonderful piece of writing!
Vince Martella05/12/13
Definitely didn't see that one coming! Charming story. Loved the dialogue. Thanks for sharing. Only red ink is that I would have liked to read more.
Judith Gayle Smith05/12/13
Sweet!
Camille (C D) Swanson 05/12/13
Touching and moving, this brought a smile to my heart. Nicely done, thank you. God bless~
Christina Banks 05/12/13
I loved how you ended this. It made me smile.
Carolyn Ancell05/13/13
How I loved this one. Only last week, I met a lovely older couple who told me they were in a second marriage after their first spouses had died; and then told me they'd been in love in high school, but her brother had told him, "Hands off, that's my sister." The brother is now brother-in-law to his friend, and couldn't be more delighted!
Bea Edwards 05/15/13
Delightful story of a teenage crush. So believable, did you have your eye on a redhead in school?