The Official Writing Challenge
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04/28/13
Wow! That was edgy, and a bit darker than most things I enjoy reading. I like the way you ended it. It all could have gone so badly.
04/28/13
You had me at hello on this one. On the edge of my seat. I felt Diego's fear and will remember the verse he said. You have a great way with suspense and story telling. Well done!
My heart is beating in overtime! What a story! You write so beautifully, and your characters and surroundings just grab me, along with your superb descriptions. imho - this is a winner . . .
My heart is beating in overtime! What a story! You write so beautifully, and your characters and surroundings just grab me, along with your superb descriptions. imho - this is a winner . . .
I like the suspense you created. You asked for red ink so I note this: Early in the story you wrote "...window let in a weak shaft of light; just enough to cast an eerie shadow or two. But later you wrote (MC standing in the same open doorway) "As light flooded in from the hallway he could see ... chain link fence..." Why, then, could he not see it earlier? Perhaps, I missed something. Overall, a well crafted story.
04/29/13
I usually don't read stories quite like this one but you made it so vivid in my mind. As Christians we have the authority to bind and loose through the name of Jesus Christ. I find this to be our Spiritual Warfare with evil spirits, seen or not seen. It was a story well told and it kept you on the edge.
Yikes. Creepy, but I read it all the way through. I wanted out of that basement! Keep writing.
This was so scary!! My stomach was lurching all the way through. Talk about riveting, knee-knocking, and having all your emotions tied up in your throat? Oh my gosh... This was perfect for the topic and extremely well written, now I just have to say, be still my beating heart. The scriptures were so perfect for this piece. Thank you for the needed reminder that as we apply His word the devil really is under our feet. He certainly is a liar and God's precious truth wins every time.
You handled this so well. I was riveted to the unfolding events, wondering how it would all work out - secretly glad this is workshop for Christian writers! You are master at suspense and character/scene development.
05/01/13
Oh so spooky. I was so relieved when your MC self rescued himself with scripture!
Wow this is a powerful story. you had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
05/02/13
Excellent piece, very captivating! Congrats on your Highly Commended! I felt that it might have ended just a touch too abruptly, but maybe that's just me. I could feel the clammy hand of fear myself, good job.
05/02/13
Congratulations on you HC! Well done.
As I think you know, your writing is among my favorite at FW. This was another excellent piece, and a real nail -biter. Congrats on this well deserved HC. Blessings...
Congratulations on placing 4 in your level and 13 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=36971&sid=fc51905b09e1c3a6153917b33a0614a4 )
Gripping, scary, riveting, but I couldn't look away. Great job. Congratulations on your HC ranking.