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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Click (04/18/13)

TITLE: Because I Love You
By lynn gipson
04/21/13


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Lily Weldon looked at the small, cold, blue-steeled pistol in her hand. She had loaded it the night before with anticipation of using it today. It was now 6:00AM, and she rose from her bed holding the gun and went to her eighth story apartment window. It was still dark out, and as she gazed at the sky her mind took her back to the early years of her life.

“Mommy, please! Please don't hit me again. I'm sorry!” Lily saw herself at the age of four, cowered in the corner of her room, begging her mother to stop the abuse. That particular abuse didn't stop until she was eight years old, and finally had been taken away from her mother and placed into the foster care system.

Four sets of foster parents and various abuses later, she graduated from high school with honors and won a scholarship to college. She obtained a Business degree, landed a top-notch job with an advertising agency as a salesperson, and worked her way up to senior executive level in four short years. She was cold and tough and aptly earned the nickname, “Tiger Lil.”

Most people feared her, so shock washed over her one day when she discovered someone had the audacity to steal her parking place.

“Hey! That's my place! Would you kindly move your car?” Lily growled at a handsome man getting out of his car as she drove up behind him.

“Sorry! Can't. Late for a meeting!” He gave her a disarming smile and hurried away.

Lily clenched her fist as she chased the culprit down the parking lot and obtained the thief's name.

She then stomped off to her penthouse office and barked at her secretary. “Jenny, find out what floor Christopher Haynes works on!”

“Oh, he works on the fifth floor Ms. Weldon. Everybody knows who he is. He's gorgeous, single, and a gentleman to boot!”

“That gentleman just stole my parking place! Send him a memo expressing my displeasure, now!”

As it turned out, Chris stole more than her parking place that day. A few hours later he came into her office with a bouquet of flowers and an invitation to dinner, and walked out with her stone cold heart.

After six months of movies, dinners, and walks on the beach, Chris had called yesterday and asked her to meet him for dinner. There was a serious tone to his voice, and Lily thought he might be planning to propose. She couldn't have been more wrong.

“Lily, I'm sorry, this just isn't working for me. You are a lovely person, but you don't seem to be able to really care about people. You lack a certain warmth and compassion for others. Forgive me, but I have to end this before it goes any further.”

Lily was so stunned she couldn't speak. She simply rose from the table and left the restaurant. She was numb while driving home, and instead of crying she ultimately became angry. Not at Chris, but at herself. She unlocked her front door, went straight to her room, and took the gun from her dresser drawer.

She lay awake all night thinking about her relationship with Chris. How could she not have seen this coming? Was she that blind? Was she so love starved that she imagined he was in love with her? What a fool she had been! She had waited all her life for love, only to be told she was unlovable.

Lily had never been particularly religious, but now she prayed for an answer as to why she should not put the gun to her head and pull the trigger.

God, please help me! Give me a reason to live. I need an answer now!

Lily waited, and heard nothing. She prayed once more.

God, please answer me. Help me. Tell why I should not do this, or I will!

Silence filled the room.

Lily placed the gun to her right temple and fired the fully-loaded gun.

Click!

Shaking violently, Lily dropped the gun, and for the first time in her adult life, started to cry. She cried for her mother, for all of the abuse her poor body had known, and for all of the love her heart had never known. She sobbed for hours, and when at last she was completely spent, she heard God speak.

“Because I love you, Lily.”


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This article has been read 214 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Patsy Hallum04/26/13
A wonderful success through failure story. I pray it's not a personal experience one. Abuse does strange things to our lives. God is the answer. Keep Writing!
dub W04/26/13
Powerful piece ... stunned.
Virgil Youngblood 04/26/13
On topic, a fitting title, well written -- I say, "Well done."
Christina Banks 04/27/13
I worried from the start what her intentions with the gun were. My heart hurt for your MC. Abuse is a terrible thing for a child - for anyone. I held my breath as your MC pulled the trigger and felt the powerful wash of relief when only the click sounded. Powerful story. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Lori Dixon 04/27/13
Great, gut wrenching story . . . I love His redemption and her brokeness at the end because we all know that's where and when the real healing begins.
Well done!
Cheryl Harrison 04/27/13
Suspense filled. I was relieved that Lily did not succeed. Right on topic. Well Done.
Judith Gayle Smith04/27/13
Absorbing! Darker for you, yes. I always anticipate light and frothy from you - this was quite a change. It was painfully gripping and extremely, iho, well written.
Ellen Carr 04/27/13
This is a very gripping and moving story. You've written it really well and the ending is a relief. Without the word limit constraints this could be expanded into a longer tale with more about the early years and the romance. Well done.
Alicia Renkema04/28/13
I can't even tell you how much this piece moved me. I am in tears. Your MC touched a chord deep within me from many years of abuse that I have suffered through. I had no idea how this piece was going to end, and although I wish there was some way that she hadn't had to go through the heartbreak in loosing the relationship with the guy she had been seeing, she ended up with the best relationship of all. This was great writing. It was suspenseful, riveting, hopeful, a letting-go of that hope, and then personal victory. This was a little hard to read for me because even though I have always loved people, I have often felt the same loneliness that your MC did. I am just glad that Jesus is my best friend! Thank you for sharing this touching story.
Cinda Carter04/28/13
It was heartfelt. An amazing story that takes your breath away. While reading it I held my breath to see what the outcome would be and then to hear the words "Because I Love You" there was a sigh of relief and then I exhaled.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/28/13
Wow this is just riveting. I found myself holding my breath as I read. You did an outstanding job of this difficult subject. You took us full circle and spoke volumes with your click!
Vince Martella04/29/13
Wow! Really fantastic story. It was definitely gripping and edgy. You fleshed out your character so well. I loved these: "Chris stole more than her parking place that day..." and "She couldn't have been more wrong." So well written. And the ending was superb. Thanks so much for sharing this story of God's unfailing love.
Bea Edwards 04/29/13
Wow was that a potent piece of story telling! Got goose bumps rolling up and down my arms.
Well done young lady.
Loren T. Lowery04/30/13
It is interesting to see how different people can react from the trauma of abuse. Your MC POV is revealing and you've done a terrific job telling her story. The explanation of the behavior is understood; and that God intervened to demonstrate His love (once she totally surrendered) give us all hope. Well done. Well told.
Sheldon Bass 04/30/13
Powerful piece. You weave a good tale, with a thought provoking ending.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/02/13
Congratulations on placing 6th in your level and 19 overall! (HAPPY DANCE!!)
Judith Gayle Smith05/03/13
Congratulations!