The Official Writing Challenge
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04/11/13
I love the idea of their relationship being so playful. So real.
And this quote 'breaking through the water coffin' . .. very descriptive!
04/12/13
Thoroughly wonderful! Though it's easy to see where it's going, you told it in a fresh new way that makes it well worth the read. Good job.
04/13/13
Good job in this multi layered descriptive piece.

God bless~
04/15/13
Good characterisation and I like the way you started with the dialogue - it really draws you in. Can I just say that I think the title could reflect more of this personalisation/the tone and style of your piece? The title seems really formal, almost like a sermon and yet your writing was actually really personalised. Feel free to ignore my opinion, of course, it was just something I noticed. Well done.
04/16/13
I like the title, and love the story. This is one of my favorite when John, who thinks he is unworthy to baptize Jesus, finds himself obeying God and fulfilling his real purpose.

Excellent job!
04/16/13
I've always wondered what John must have though when Jesus came to be baptized. You gave us a peek into his possible frame of mind. Nicely done.
Michelle is a talented writer. Thoughtful theologian and a wonderful human being. All success to her and to FaithWriters for all of her future writing projects!
04/16/13
You brought this important biblical event to life with your warm and winsome writing! I was blessed in seeing this scene in a fresh way! Your writing is very descriptive and flows well. A favorite section of mine was: " The Sanhedrin cared only about stifling behavior which looked like rebellion against Rome. The Pharisees cared only for their position. Dash in, create a sensation, flaunt their authority. Then march out, heads held high, waving their robes and flashing their blue tassels for all to see. Just for show." I could just picture the Pharisees doing this! :) Good job!
04/16/13
Well witten, very believable dialogue! I really enjoyed the possibility of Jesus playfully splashing John after that epic moment of the dove descending and the Voice from heaven.
I absolutely loved everything about this wonderful, humorous and touching piece of Biblical fiction. The way John said, "I am not even worthy to untie his sandals, that is if he even had sandals on" (or to that effect) -- you had great lines like that throughout that really made this piece warm and made you feel like it was happening right now. You are a very talented writer and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story on John and his cous,I mean Lord. That was special. You mentioned on in the brick section that you wondered if anyone had an idea for a title. Right in your text you talk about both John from before he was born and Jesus after His baptism being filled with the Holy Spirit, maybe you could title this:Filled with His Spirit -- just a thought. Your title is fine too. Blessings and thanks for sharing this treasure.
Beauty, passion, humor, reverence, playfulness, love, honor and joy What more could anyone ask?
04/18/13
HEARTY CONGRATULATIONS on your E.C. win for this wonderful story! WAY TO WRITE!! :)
04/18/13
I just had to come back and comment again. This is such a good piece and I missed some of it the last time— in a hurry too often, as I'm pressed for time. I love the way you show Jesus' human side as he playfully splashed water back at His cousin. Congratulations on a well deserving piece. And that's just for now. Wait till we get to heaven, where the real rewards will be given!
Congratulations on both your second place win in your level and your EC. Well done, I am so glad that you won for this warm and wonderful piece of writing!
04/18/13
Great take on topic and an interesting twist to a familiar story. Your EC is well deserved.
04/19/13
Congratulations on your EC!
Congratulations!
Thank you for sharing this story, giving us a window into personalities as well a the historical account. Congratulations on your EC.