Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Beautiful (11/07/05)

TITLE: This Could be Interesting
By dub W
11/07/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

My head pounded with the constant drumming, drumming which combined with fumes and soot to choke and gag me. I struggled to raise myself but something burned on my scalp, a cut or a scrape was my guess. I reached to touch my head but my jacket pulled at my arm. Whatever it was that was on my scalp found its way through my matted hair and dripped into my eyes.

The clerk told me the tux was a 40 long - he lied. The threads tore as my hand extended toward my head. Somewhere in the night, time had stopped, or perhaps it had raced forward – in the darkness I couldn’t really focus. My mind raced though events. The last thing I remembered was the beautiful woman I met at the opera, we had left together after the first encore. The ebony red head sat across from me saying those things only grownups say in uncomfortable situations. The coat had hampered me then too, as I tried to reach across the ornate table setting to touch her polished fingers. We were lost in the moment and the music – a solitary violin slicing the night.

The violin, yes the violin, I remember. Earlier, at the opera house, I had enjoyed the music. On the stage a master had stood playing the Strat. Oh, how inviting the notes seemed to be, with each careful stroke, the master had sent strings of beauty, horror, challenge and intrigue. Surely, no master of the violin could have been so proficient. But, he disappeared. What happened to the music? What happened to the beautiful woman? Where was the wine? Oh, the wine. It must have been the wine. My tongue felt like sandpaper. But, the wine, the acid taste lingered in my mouth.

My hands felt the platform around me, “cardboard.” Only a slight echo answered my call. I think I am on a box of sorts.

The drumming continued, and I tried to place the sound. “A piston, definitely, a piston.” Years of working in the ship yards had paid off, at least I could recognize the sound of an engine.

I finally managed to free myself from my tux jacket. In the darkness I searched the pockets and eventually reached into the jacket vest pocket, the secure feeling of the key to my Jag met my hand. At least they had not stolen the car. But, then what car thief needs a key any longer. I continued to feel inside the pocket, at last the silk flap revealed a book of matches. I remembered, I had picked them up off of the table in order to light a cigarette for the beautiful redhead. “Who was she anyway?” I tried to focus my mind. Beautiful women and wine, a volatile mixture.

I struck one of the matches against the surface of the booklet, and it exploded with flame, the same as it had the night before when it highlighted beauty. The new match however, only pierced the darkness, revealing an arc around me; more boxes, and a few cages - a monkey, maybe a dog, or other small animal. The match burned my fingers and I dropped it, the small cinder fell into the darkness. I counted to ten before it disappeared. It suddenly registered to me. I was on top of a stack of boxes. “Precious...,” I held my tongue as I cried into the darkness, my silver cross burned into my chest, glad I didn’t jump, I bet I am twenty feet up. I struck another match and peered over the side of the box. I couldn’t see the bottom.

Suddenly, the boxes shifted and I rolled to my side. Frantically, I grabbed a sharp cardboard edge. It finally added up, I was in the hold of a ship.

“So,” I managed to clear my throat, “this could be interesting.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 999 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Garnet Miller 11/14/05
Indeed, this is already interesting. Is he a spy who has been set up and kidnapped by the enticing ebony vixen. Does he have any fancy spy-type gadgets with which to extricate himself from said present situation? Looking forward to Part Deux.....
Jeffrey Snell11/15/05
Pulls ya right in! Good job.
Val Clark11/16/05
OK, I'm sucked right in! A fast ride, tightly written. Second episode, please. ('Whatever it was that was on my scalp' sounds clumsy to me, could you delete 'that was'?) Yeggy
Beth Muehlhausen11/16/05
Drama! The stage is set, now what? Good grabber!
Cassie Memmer11/16/05
Panting here! LOL! Good job, but did you have to leave us hanging without the next page available? :o) Good job!
Pat Guy 11/17/05
Another series? It better be! This is a WOW one Dub! Part 2 next week, right? :)
Anita Neuman11/17/05
Very interesting, indeed! I can't wait to see where this is going.
Shannon Redmon11/17/05
Great suspense! Can't wait to find out what happens!
Peter Thomas11/17/05
You've got a good set-up here. I'm wondering what happened? why is he there? Who is he? I'm interested.
Katherine Douglas11/18/05
WOW! How do you do that? I'm sucked right in. I want to know who, what, where, why, how, ???? gimme answers, gimme, gimme, gimme. :o
Shari Armstrong 11/19/05
Oh the lessons learned too late lol Now your second hint makes sense.... hmmm now to figure out the items lol
Karen Jimmy11/20/05
wow, i want to hear the end! you have a great imagination, and as the others have said, the ability to pull the reader in. I said to myself as I started reading, "If it doesn't get me in I won't read the whole thing" (time constraints!)...but you hooked me! good job
Helen Harris11/21/05
Wow, a very interesting story Dub. You got the Right Title, “This Could be Interesting”
Such suspense. Was he robbed, hit over the head and was dreaming of music, the beautiful woman, and wine or had too much of wine? Very intriguing. Excellent Writing. Thank you. Helen


Suzanne R11/23/05
What an interesting way of revealing more and more of the situation. Interesting indeed!!!