The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/12/13
Beautiful. Masterful. Heart-tugging. Thank you for sharing.
03/12/13
Interesting! Great imagery and symbolism. It is very thought-provoking.
Wow this is awesome! You gave me goosebumps and I thought it was quite clever. I wonder if a different title might have pulled in more people as this one is a bit cliche, perhaps God Walks the Line or God's Red Line. I think the reason this didn't rank higher might be because it was on topic, but in a round about way. If not for the title, I never would have guessed the topic. That's what you want the reader to do, guess the topic even if they don't know it. You don't need to use the topic word, but you want the reader's to feel the topic.

I do think you did a great job and I love the dialog between God and MC. I think this is a bit of brilliance and would encourage you to polish it up, extend it a bit with more details and find a magazine that you could submit it too. It has great potential! Congratulations on placing 7th in level three and ranking 32 overall!