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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Tie (02/28/13)

TITLE: Unwelcomed Surprise
By Allison Egley


Okay. Iím pretty sure this was not part of the contract. My hands are tied together, and I can't see a thing. I really should be more worried but I know it's just the youth group kids. I recognized Kiley and Brandon's voices right away.

They have something up their sleeves, obviously. But the thing that hurts the most is my own wife is in on this. She was the one who let them in and had me sit in a chair with my eyes closed. Some "surprise" this turned out to be.

So here I am, stuck in a trunk heading to who knows where? I've got a pillow case over my head, and my hands are bound with Zip Ties. I suppose I could try to kick out the tail lights and stick my foot through the hole, or feel around for the trunk release all the newer cars have. But then cars would stop, the police would be called, and I'd have to bail who knows how many youth group kids out of jail? I suppose that that's not exactly in my contract either. They could have at least given me the courtesy of sitting in the back seat with a seat belt. At least I would be properly restrained. But I suppose a man with a pillowcase on his head would prompt calls to the police also. More bailing kids out of jail. Perhaps the trunk is best. I'll play along.

Hey, I think the car is stopping. Yep. I hear doors closing, and now... light. I'd ask them what was going on, but it's almost more fun to play the subservient prisoner. Besides, it messes with their heads a bit. So now they are making me walk into a building. Turn right, turn right again, another right, up some steps, and... they've tied me to a chair. Lightly. At least they have the decency not to cut off my circulation. I've got to be at church. The echoes of voices even sound like the youth room. Is it sad that I can identify the youth room by turns and acoustics only?

And now it's quiet again. They turned the lights out. Okay. That's it.

"Guys? Come on. I know I'm at church, and I know it's you. Let me go."

"Hello? Anyone?

"Uh... look. I hate to be a whiner, but I've kind of got to do something important, and if you don't let me go soon, you might have to clean up a bit of a mess.


Okay. Fine. They got me. But I'll get them back, and they won't know when. I've just got to make sure my plan won't send me to jail. Pretty sure that would break the ties of my contract.


Disclaimer: The author of this story does not condone tying up and kidnapping youth pastors. Don't do it, kids.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 323 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/07/13
Oh, Oh, Oh!! I so LOVE this story. Your humor is brilliant and I found myself covering my mouth and squeezing my legs together as I laughed so hard I'm old so I figured you'd understand the squeezing my legs, plus my doctor just put me on a diuretic-oh but I digress. Back to all the wonderful things in your story.This is so good and your descriptions so divine that because I'm a tad claustrophobic, my heart started pounding at the description about being in the trunk. I think the best line was also the one with the most impact--about knowing you were in the youth room because of the echoes. This is one of my all-time favorites. My son is at Duke studying to be an ordained UMC minister and he really wants to work with youth. I'm sending him this link right away. I hope he doesn't change his mind...
Noel Mitaxa 03/08/13
A good fun entry with aclear warning: "Do not try this at home."
Maybe another title could be "Pastor Joke!"
Cheryl Harrison03/08/13
Oh my, so funny. I hope your MC isn't still tied up somewhere. I enjoyed this! Keep writing.
Alicia Renkema03/09/13
This MC was one cool dude under pressure and must have really loved his kids, I would have been much more concerned about what was happening and if it weren't as innocent as I was hoping that it was. But then I have pretty extreme claustrophobia, I would have been freaking out... I liked the suggestion of the "Pastor Joke" title. This was very suspenseful writing. It did leave me wondering what ended up happening though, it was probably designed that way. Blessings...
Danielle King 03/10/13
Please could we have chapter 2 at some future point? You left me hanging. Still, preferable to being tied up with a bag over my head, little monsters. You get full marks for originality and your ability to draw the reader in and keep 'em guessing. Hope they provided a bucket for his most basic needs!
Judith Gayle Smith03/10/13
Delightful! I would enthuse more but for some strange reason - I must run to the bathroom. You must not write of such things when elderly folk such as me must wee . . .
Bea Edwards 03/12/13
Hey where's the rest of the story??? ;-}
Liked your MC's self dialogue and your story overall was cute and entertaining.
Virgil Youngblood 03/12/13
And the bounty posted for the ring leaders was what? Surely, there was one. A fun read that suggests maybe this is based on experience and not imagination.