The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/07/13
Wow, first you had me totally captivated with the prepping and primping and then you had me in tears… and then had me smiling again at the end! This was such a wonderfully written story that evoked one emotion after another with its twists and turns! Terrific job!
03/08/13
Have to agree with Linda. You so skilfully pulled back the dust that has gathered in heavy layers over the memories of the stress of teenage years. But the twist at the end was a real winner! Great work.
03/08/13
This is wonderful, what a story and what a surprise ending. Your descriptions of the two eight year olds is spot on! Just lovely to read, - moving, humerous, touching, full of love and care. Thank you for such a great story.
Awwww ... this brought tears to my eyes. Lovely, touching story. Good job.
03/09/13
Such fine writing and you stuck the landing! The finish was a surprise and an emotional one at the. Very nice.
03/09/13
Oh wow. I loved this. I especially loved the ending, knowing that Dad is still alive. You did a great job building emotion.
You did a great job of building suspense with a delightful story and throwing a great curve ball ending. Excellent.
With the sister's remark about kissing on dates as well as some of the other dialogue, I was totally convinced for most of the story that the date was with a girl, a peer,. There were so many wonderful twists and turns in your story... The dialogue with the sisters was priceless, their energy and giggles one moment and tears at missing their dad the next. The MC's wanting to look just perfect. And the end, was the best, the dad was still alive. He wasn't in the safest of places but there was still hope that he would come home to his family who missed him so much! How wonderful too at the thoughtfulness of this husband / father who thought to prepare in advance this special gift and evening with their sweet son. Wonderful, imaginative writing. Thanks for such a clever and fun read.
Very nice job. The twists and turns were so well done and the playful dialogue was a pleasure to read. Good writing.
03/10/13
Oh this is priceless. You kept us all guessing and wow, what an ending. Great writing.
Thank you for melting my heart. Giggles, struggles, poignancy and sheer sweetness. Great job.
03/11/13
I loved this from beginning to end. And of course I had tears too. This was so well written and lovely to read.
03/12/13
Great writing...I had no idea that Jonny was preparing for a date with his mom. Then I assumed their dad had been killed.
Your happy ending was perfect! All around original and fun story. Well done.
03/14/13
Wow! Let me brush the tears off my cheeks so I can see what I'm typing. This was a very moving piece. I loved the character of the children and their emotions of missing their father. I have a brother who has done two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan, so this story really spoke to me. Congratulations on your EC!
A well deserved win, congratulations, this was a special piece!
03/14/13
Congratulations Leola!
God bless~
03/14/13
Congratulations on your EC Leola...so well deserved!
03/16/13
Congratulations Leola. This is a well deserved win.
03/20/13
I have to echo all the comments above--I truly enjoyed the MC and the twists and turns of emotions. Congrats on placing 4th with this true-to-life piece.