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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Singing (10/31/05)

TITLE: And The Pieces Fit
By Pat Guy


And the watcher in the woods stood taunt, weary…..hidden.

The slow putt-putt of the motorboat caused little wake as Sonja headed towards the floating deck not far off shore.

I wonder if anyone will miss me…for real …....

Her floating haven of refuge looked bleak and empty against the horizon of trees and hot blue sky – it no longer welcomed her.

It feels sooo right….

Securing the boat to the deck she automatically reached down poking around for something that wasn’t there. Instant anger flared, She NEVER puts anything back! Oh well – who cares?

A quick glance back at the house and she wondered how long it’d take for someone to notice she’s not coming home. Probably late tonight, she sighed as she kicked off her shoes before sitting on the edge of the deck.

And the watcher in the woods moved closer….and waited.

Sonja didn’t notice the shock of cold on her warm feet – she didn’t notice the beauty of reflected sky upon the deep waters; where she…….Oh well ……I don’t care.

She didn’t care about life. She didn’t care about living. She didn’t care about the future. She was empty. She was already gone.

Echoes of the past were left behind as she slipped into the cool waters of Lake Harris. If hope could have saved her – it was too late now. Her tearless sorrow sank deeper than the well of tears she stored inside. Deeper than the depths that welcomed her now………mmmmmmm…..nice……

The chill of liquid death embraced her, caressed her, lulled her to its eternity. Fluid weightless motion released all tension – all pain……Aaaaahhhhh…… relief…….. finally……mmmmmm…….

The watcher in the woods quickly crept into the house.

Do I get it over with fast and just take a deep breath? Or do I wait to pass out?

Tiny flecks of florescent sparks behind her eyelids began the answer she sought in those first relieved seconds. Her mind was beginning to feel hazy. Her lungs straining for air – the unexpected pain! She didn’t count on this! Nor the desperate need to breathe!

An explosion of fear propelled her back to her senses! Dreamlike motions of groping and kicking intensified urgency! Adrenaline burned electric pulses into every muscle screaming for more speed!

Panic broke the surface.

And the watcher in the woods stood taunt, alert….ready.

Watery spray from flaying arms choked Sonja as she gasped and gagged her way back up onto the deck. On hands and knees her heaving chest began to ease – her mind began to clear. Dropping spread eagle on her back she laid there.… staring…..thinking……. Where are You?

Another coughing spasm shook her body…….

‘I was like a jigsaw with pieces missing,
A square peg in a round hole…’

Sonja bolted up and looked around. There was no sound – no music anywhere. “Whoa! Where’d that come from?”

‘Like trying to climb a ladder but always slipping,
High jump, short pole’

“No way! This is way too weird!”

‘I was stained ‘til He came to cleanse me,
I was torn ‘til He came to mend me…’

Sonja fumbled with the rope trying to unhook it…. her hands shook – her fingers wouldn’t work. What’s going on! – I don’t hear anything!

She revved up the motor to block the words that popped in and out of nowhere.

Docking the boat, she raced into the house, not caring she was dripping wet – she just wanted to escape the words that demanded room in her head.

‘His Grace for my shame,
His death for my blame,
His stripes for my pain,
And the pieces fit.’

“Mom! ….where……that’s it! …...Wheeww! ….. It’s a soooong!”

‘His joy for my grief,
His hurt, my relief,
My doubt, His belief,
And the pieces fit.’

The watcher in the woods sat at the kitchen table with Sonja’s missing CD player – her head resting in her arms.

“Mom!… Mom! What’s going on?”

“Oh baby, I used to play this all the time when you were a little girl. You probably don’t remember…..what’d you do? Go swimming with your clothes on?”

‘A maze where each direction is deceiving,
With no one to lead you.’

The warmth of her mother’s outstretched hand embraced her as she leaned her trembling wet body into her mother’s arms – rocking, as one. The gentle hum of her mom’s love mingled with melodious healing words....

‘It’s no wonder I’ve been made whole,
Since I surrendered my heart and my soul.’

The watcher in the woods had prayed her daughter Home.

The Pieces Fit
Words and music by Pearl Barrett, Jeanette Herdman, and Charlie Barrett
©1998 Up in the Mix Music (BMI)
Bobby LoLo Songs (BMI)
Blue String of Pearls (BMI)
Admin. By EMI Christian Music Publishing

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This article has been read 1183 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lucian Thompson11/07/05
Suspenseful and riveting, well done.
Jan Ackerson 11/09/05
Very atmospheric and moody, with a unique writing style. I liked it a lot, especially not knowing who the "watcher" was for so long. Word choice: "taunt" means a sarcastic insult. You may have meant "taut", which means tense.
Brandi Roberts11/09/05
Wow. What is it with you making me cry? This was a hard read - but only because it was so emotional for me for my own distinct reasons. Great job.
Jeffrey Snell11/09/05
Definitely a gripping tale, particularly when Sonja tries to drown herself. Careful on puncuation, it was distracting a couple of times. Nicely crafted!
Shari Armstrong 11/09/05
Nicely done -I can't swim, so the water scenes were extra tense for me!
Linda Watson Owen11/09/05
My, such effective description! I felt that I was right there! Powerful.
Laurie Glass 11/09/05
This is so gripping. Great images. Well crafted. In other words, Wow!
Debbie Sickler11/09/05
Very well written, creative and emotion invoking. Great job Pat! It felt like you actually lived the drowning experience in your mind as you portrayed it through your words. I also liked guessing at who was watching, not knowing if their intentions would be helpful or harmful. Excellent!
Amy Michelle Wiley 11/09/05
Well done! I especially liked the "watcher", too. :-)
Suzanne R11/10/05
Ooh ... yes ... dark but at least with a strong ray of hope and life at the end. The drowning experience was powerfully written. This line was particularly touching: "Her tearless sorrow sank deeper than the well of tears she stored inside."

You integrated the words of the song and the girl's distress just beautifully.
terri tiffany11/10/05
Lake Harris will never be the same:) I loved this! I was there with her and I especially loved the beginning and having the watcher watch like that. Great job!
Julianne Jones11/11/05
Extremely creative. Grabbed my attention and I couldn't wait to get to the end to find out what happens. Well done.
Shannon Redmon11/12/05
Great suspense! I couldn't stop reading I had to find out who the watcher was!
Val Clark11/12/05
A very accurate portrayal of a depressed person. The identity of the waiting watcher added suspense. May all mothers be as patient, loving and perceptive.