The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/13
This is a lovely, bittersweet piece. You took me right to the cemetery in my mind. I grew up across the road from one, and was familiar with it. It never spooked me but helped me understand how love can endure beyond the grave. Your story captured that message quite well. I enjoyed it from beginning to end.
02/10/13
This was a joy to read. Nice job.
02/10/13
Catchy title! "...like moths to a flame..." and "...vocal drought...". Left no problem with visualizing each step of the way!
02/12/13
Lovely ending, and I really enjoyed your attention to detail.

The only critique I have is with your use of commas and semicolons. There were places in the story where each was used incorrectly, interfering with the flow.

On the other hand, I very much appreciated your use of intentional sentence fragments. You understand writing for effect, and this story shows tremendous potential.
02/13/13
This touched my heart. Nicely done. God bless~