The Official Writing Challenge
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Great job! Very well written. I can just see the "little roll of thunder!" Brings back memories of a few years ago.
I could picture everything so perfectly, even the exasperation of the mother was visible (along with her patience). You have to admit Davy was inventive/creative/imaginative/rambunctious. In other words you've created a very real-life little boy who is contrite, but just for a while. I like the Dad's take on the situation - but then his perspective may have been a bit sewed - him being a tyke once himself. This brings back some great memories and smiles.
02/08/13
I, too, thought the "little roll of thunder" was great. This little guy was a master at improvisation, with the umbrella crook/shepherds staff, and red sea/red marker on the carpet. :) Yikes! I had to smile at the use of "hafta" (like son, like mother). :) I had a little guy just like Davy (once upon a time ago). Based on that knowledge, the Mom in your story is in for crazy time. :)
02/09/13
Oh, I could relate to this too, having raised a very “inventive/creative” little boy myself! Such an entertaining read, so well done!
02/11/13
Vivid descriptions of four-year=old inventiveness let loose when it's least expected. A good fun read, with a great twist at the close.
This is so very delightful! More! More!
02/12/13
Oh, I love this.I can see the roll of thunder now. Very well written and such a joy to read. Took me right back to when my son was that age and he sounded just like that.

Thank you for sharing this excellent story.
A very entertaining story of childhood. Thank you so much for writing about your "roll of thunder" and his marvelous staff.
God bless.
02/13/13
"Roll of thunder" indeed! Nicely done...this was very well written and completely enjoyable.

God bless~
02/13/13
You captured my attention and lured me into your story right away with your description of lil Davey stormin' through the house. I couldn't wait to learn of his exploits. Loved the whole thing, from the all to real 4 year old dialogue to papa's ending comments!
This could have been my own lil Jada!! 4 year old feminine storm-trooper.
02/13/13
oh yeh I forgot to add-'roll of thunder' indeed. HA what a perfectly apt description. Still grinning ear to ear imagining him standing there.
I agree with everything that every one said, I love stories where one can just hear the child talking as if he was right there in the room with you. And this was such a story. But one thing no one mentioned was your description of the lamp once it had been destroyed --"broken into more pieces than I thought a lamp could have" or something close to that. My little guy really got into things and we had a lot of broken things around, sometimes valuable and sentimental things. I thought your phrasing along with the whole picture you created for your reader of Davy's antics could make for the start of a whole children's series. Just think he could have escapades with that umbrella with nearly every character in the Bible. The umbrella idea was so creative to use for staff as well. Great job on this. Blessings on you...
Congratulations on ranking 30 overall!