The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/08/13
This is one of my favorite O.T.stories. It's always wonderful to be reminded of God's perfect timing and plan for our lives! In fact, when things don't seem to be going as well as I would like, or there is an unexpected turn, I think of Joseph's story and it gives me renewed faith to believe God is really the one in control. I'd never really looked at it from Jacob's POV until your article. You've done a super job letting us see things as he might have.

A little bit of red ink I could offer is that I think you put Joseph instead of Jacob in the line about Joseph waking up after his dream. You probably meant Jacob, right? Actually, I didn't see it the first time through,so it isn't a huge point, if one already knows the basics of the story.

In any case, you've done a nice job of sharing this story!
02/09/13
Thanks for letting us see this O.T. story in a new light. Great job!
02/12/13
Masterful writing with excellent use of semicolons and varied sentence structures.

This is SO minor, but you might want to be aware of using one particular structure once or twice too often--where you start with an adjective set off by a comma. It's grammatical and it's a good way to change things up, but you did it perhaps once too often in the first half of the story.

But I'd far rather read a beautifully-written entry like this than one with no advanced sentence structures. This is something I'd expect to see in Level 4. Very well done!
02/13/13
Good job with this piece.
Thanks. God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 7th in level 3 and 31 overall!