The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/11/13
Just lovely. Evocative writing for sure. Thank you!
02/12/13
A moving testimony. I'd love to read this in prose form, too.

You switched tense a bit, from present to past, which leaves the reader slightly disoriented, and the topic is only slightly touched upon.

I like the ABCB rhyme scheme, which is easier on the reader than ABAB.
02/13/13
Touching and moving. Thank you. God bless~