The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 422 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/10/13
This is very thought provoking when you explain how people who don't Christ are walking flat liners. I have never thought of it that way but how true. Very well done!
01/10/13
Very thought-provoking article! I'd never thought of it this way and a super use of the topic to make your point. Just a couple of thoughts to consider... normally a room on the second floor would be numbered in the 200's so as not to confuse new employees or folks unfamiliar with the structure of the building. As you might imagine, a Code Blue situation would be a very important example of personnel needing to have the right floor. Secondly, it would more likely be the EKG monitor in the patient's room, rather than the EKG machine, itself, making the flat line sounds. The machine is rolled into the room, whereas the monitor is there already, hooked up to the patient, making the alarm sound to get everyone's attention. Just a couple of minor points, not relevant to the story at all, but useful should you desire to do more medical kinds of stories. Of course, this is the way in the USA but may not be in your own country, should it be elsewhere. In any case, you've done a terrific job on this article!
01/10/13
Interesting take on the topic! The dialogue was very believable and I could 'see' the couple.
Well done!
01/11/13
Good message. Thanks for the inspirational article.
01/11/13
I liked the comparison of a flat line on the monitor to a person who doesn't know Christ. Thanks for sharing.
01/12/13
Great job...such a creative way of presenting the topic. I loved the entire piece. It was fabulous.

God bless~
This is a good devotion. I liked how you demonstrated a situation that most could relate to in the beginning and then transitioned to a spiritual message.

Double check your punctuation. You need commas at the end of a quotation before the words he said. Also if you use a tagline like he said it is part of the sentence with the dialog. Ex "Look," he said. I'm not sure if it was a style choice for emphasis, but you repeated flat line quite often and I'm not sure if you needed to define it as thoroughly as you did.

The best part is your message. It came through loud and clear and wasn't at all preachy. I actually pictured people walking around with a little bubble over their heads and a flat EKG line. This was a delight to read. You did a great job with this piece.