On a planet other than earth and in a galaxy other than the Milky Way, two twin brothers, Eek and Ech sat staring into their InstaVision Teleprompter. They were watching the scampering, scurrying and otherwise what appeared to be the mindless frenetic antics of a species known as earthlings.
In the providence that size matters, they were able to do this because their planet was 1000 times larger than earth’s and likewise they (as non-earthlings) were 100 times larger than their counterparts on earth, which meant (at least in the scheme of such things) bigger brawn equated to bigger brains and superior knowledge.
Turning his head to see if their mother was watching, which, she wasn’t as her attention was on the task of trying to find a noisy blender, which her husband (to play a little game with her) had just multiplied by zero because he was trying to watch re-runs of Star Trek and the blender was annoying him – and everyone knows that anything multiplied by zero become zero - so, her search was basically, in a word: fruitless. His wife knew of the zero thing, but, having other things on her mind, had forgotten about it.
Eek whispered something into Ech’s ear. Ech nodded and they both broke into quiet giggles as Eek pulled out a magnifying glass and focused its light into the InstaVision.
Millions of light years away on earth, one of the earth’s inhabitants, Mike, started in surprise, swatting at what he thought must be a bee that had just stung him. “Ouch,” he said. But, looking about he saw nothing, nor did he hear anything, not even tell-tale buzz of the offending insect.
Soon, however, people all over the town of about 500 were experiencing the same strange sting. Calypso music from the “Banana Boat Song” began playing out of thin air. And shortly thereafter, everyone was jerking about in an odd unsynchronized and un-choreographed version of the Saint Vitas Dance.
Back on the other planet, Eek and Ech were finding it hard to contain themselves. Tears of laughter were streaming down their 100 times larger than earthling’s eyes. Eck high-fived Eek for his brilliant idea to include the soundtrack from their dad’s hologram of the movie “Beetlejuice”. Which, he (dad) said he enjoyed only because Beetlejuice was where he was born and it reminded him of home.
“What are you two doing?” their mother asked, occupied and otherwise engaged in the useless search for the zeroed out blender.
“Nothing,” they responded in unison, passing the magnifying glass back-and-forth. “Just playing a game.”
Dad, hearing this and knowing how the “Trouble with Trebles” ended in his least favorite Star Trek episode, came up behind the twins and viewed down into the InstaVision Teleprompter. He pulled his sons up by their overly large (at least as compared to earthlings) ears. “What is this?” he cried.
“We’re just having fun,” they squealed.
“Fun? You call hurting those smaller than you fun?”
Since saying “yes” didn’t seem the smartest answer at the moment, they said, “No.” Even though they didn’t really know why.
“Looks like it’s time for a little father-and-son talk about the heart,” he said, turning off the InstaVision and letting the little people on earth get back to their everyday lives and forever left to wonder what in the world just happened.
But then this is the way legends are made; and how the mundane or mysterious is transformed into endless imaginings equally matched to any brawn or brain.
“Do you want to grow smaller?” the father began. Proud of their size, his sons shook their heads and he continued. “Of course not, but not having a heart for things smaller than you will do just that.”
“How?” They asked, speaking loudly over their mother’s complaint about the missing blender.
“The heart is a great leveler,” he started, but before he could finish, his wife came out of the kitchen mumbling something about zeroes and he suddenly disappeared.
So, they were left not only to wonder where he’d gone but also how such a tiny thing as a heart could make one’s body and brain grow smaller. And, in doing so grew in wisdom to match the infinite visions of their counterparts millions of light years below them.
Wisdom in all things that is but one – where things go once multiplied by zero. Dad is waiting there with the blender, certain he’s sorry for the game he once played on his wife.
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