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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Step(s) (11/29/12)

TITLE: I'm Walking Now, Jesus!
By lynn gipson
12/02/12


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Okay, Jesus, lets try this walking thing,
I know it comes first, before the talking thing,
Ive waited patiently and watched my brother do it,
He makes it look so easy, like theres nothing to it.

Lets see, first of all, where to find my balance?
For a person my age, that can be a challenge.
I pick up my right foot in front of the other,
Wobbling as I go, holding to my mother.

Letting go of her hand and shuffling my feet,
Plop! Down I go. This is harder than it seems.
Landing on my booty, glad its padded there,
Rising once again and reaching for a chair.

Practice makes perfect, thats the only way.
Go, Sport, go! I hear my daddy say.
I see my brother laughing, what is so very funny?
Try this in my shoes, you wouldnt be so sunny!

..

Okay Jesus, weve worked on this for weeks,
Ive gotten better at it, nimbler on my feet.
Ready to show off now, this is my debut,
Steady me, Jesus, Im walking with you!

Starting from the sofa, my little feet take off,
Im walking in faith, just the way you taught.
All at once my legs take flight and I am fancy free,
Im walking now, Jesus! Just dont let go of me!
.


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This article has been read 285 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 12/06/12
This was so endearing. Nicely done. God bless~
Arlene Showalter 12/07/12
This is priceless!
Noel Mitaxa 12/07/12
Very clever and light-hearted parallel that alludes warmly to the reality of being born again. Well done.
Allison Egley 12/07/12
SO cute! Faith like a child. :)
Colin Swann12/08/12
Very Cute!! A waddling and a toddling through a toddler's first faltering steps. Enjoyed!!

Colin Swann (GOLD)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/11/12
Oh I love this. It is such a beautiful story so nicely encapsulated into a poem. The rhythm of your words matches the rhythm of learning to walk. I think that was quite clever.

You seemed to be missing a word in this line: holding to my mother. I think you could fix it by saying holding onto Mother (the extra word on is balanced by removing the word my) Some of the rhymes felt a bit forced for me. For ex: weeks and feet. I wonder if you could switch it so weeks rhymes with tweaks Something like My feet are nimbler after I applied some tweaks.

They may not be perfect lines but I just wanted to give you my thoughts on it. Overall, I enjoyed this poem so much. I'm sure many people thought about Baby's first steps. Though I've read about half of the articles, I don't remember too many, if any stories yet on this. But even if there are tons, this will still stand tall among them. You nailed the topic and for me grabbed my attention immediately. I also appreciate the subtle correlation to baby steps for people and baby steps for Christians. Like anything worthwhile in life, we may fall down and bruise our bums but Jesus is still there holding our hand and doing his own version of a Happy Dance each time we please him. I'm sure that this piece left Jesus dancing and it left me with a warm safe smile.
Bea Edwards 12/12/12
Cute! I liked your comparison of 'baby steps'!
Eddie Snipes12/12/12
Cute poem. It's a great reminder that falling, getting up, and pressing on is part of the Christian's life.
Loren T. Lowery12/12/12
Childlike words of faith, boldly and innocently spoken. The last line - expressed so well and one we all grip and take hold on forever.