The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/01/12
Cute story and a fun read:)
12/01/12
What a delightful story. I taught in a preschool for a time, and the children were always saying the funniest things. You captured that very well.

If I could point out a little bit of red ink, I would suggest that you pay attention to point of view. You did very well through most of the piece being the "I" character but at one point you switched. "Mrs. Bloom had a laptop on her desk, and spun it around so Annabelle could see it" should read "Mrs. Bloom had a laptop on her desk, and spun it around so I could see it." If you have questions about point of view just PM me and I'll see if I can help.

This was a delightful piece. I enjoyed the cute things the children said in it.
This is a cute story. There's something special about kids. I wish I could have attached a video record to mine somehow as I often would find my mouth open and my eyes wide. Your story took me back to that time. You worked the topic word in with the tongue in cheek humor I enjoy and in a totally unique and creative way
12/04/12
Sweet and a plesant read.
Thank you. God bless~