The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a great story. You introduced the conflict immediately and it held my attention right to the very end.

I did notice some of the narration lines after a quote were either in complete sentences or were complete ones but you had not capitalized the first letter. For ex: protesting about the prospect of taking more time
This line needs a subject. I protested about the prospect...

I did giggle about subpoenaing the little ones. But I enjoyed your ending it made me smile. I also liked your characters and they way they resolved the conflicts. Good job.
11/25/12
Cute entry. It drew me in right away and made me chuckle when your MC went into "Mama Bear" mode.
11/27/12
Awwww. I loved this story. This is my type of entry, I could read these kind of stories all day long! Thanks. It touched my heart and made it smile.
God bless~