Imagine discovering there is a part of your anatomy that you didnít know existed. How old was I when I first realized I have this part of my anatomy? I really canít say, but it was many years ago. You see, I am now a grandmother and a great grandmother and so many memories and events are like an abstract painting. It all comes together as a work of art, but one can lose track of when each brush stroke was applied. The memory of this anatomical discovery is somewhere in the painting of my life.
I used to think I was unique, but Iíve come to realize most, if not everyone, has this as part of their anatomy. Ask me who first pointed it out to me and Iíll shrug and give you that vacant look that the elderly get.
Ah, but I remember it well when someone asked, ďWho pushed your button?Ē Button? I was irritated -- you could even say I was mad. It had nothing to do with a button. Or did it?
Iím not sure where this button is located, but trust me, itís there. When I was younger I had less self-control, and lacked wisdom about so many things, so this button got pushed frequently. Too frequently!
Sometimes having my button pushed got me into trouble. Words, once spoken, are out there, like a contagious virus. You can apologize, but the exposed will suffer. I came to regret many things, all because I allowed my button to get pushed. I really donít like who I become during times like that. Some people even have buttons, as in plural, more than one button. I must confess that I have two. One is irritation and the other is anger.
There were times my buttons got pushed easier than other times, and my irritation or anger would flare. A lot of factors made it easier for that to happen Ė lack of sleep, not feeling well, or too much stress going on.
There is no miracle cure for my button and it cannot be surgically removed. The real key to keeping it under control is spending time in prayer and Godís Word.
When Iím in a bad mood, and I know I am in a bad mood, Iíve been known to warn people, especially family members, ďOh, you donít want to push my button right now. You wonít like it if you do.Ē This can be emphasized with a hands on the hips, and that stare that says, ďDonít mess with me right now.Ē Some call it the skunk eye or evil eye.
Sometimes a bad mood can be sneaking around inside me and Iím clueless. I think Iíve got it all together, going about my merry way, singing, ďZip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah-Zip-A-Dee-A, My oh my, what a wonderful day,Ē when seemingly out of nowhere, my button gets pushed. My parade gets rained on, as well as everyone attending my parade.
Iíve learned not get too smug, and think Iíve finally got my act together because this flesh of mine will rewrite the whole play, and throw scenes and acts in there that I donít want.
My sweet husband has learned to back off when he asks, ďWhatís wrong, honey?Ē and I reply, ďNothing,Ē or, ďYou donít want to know.Ē He knows I need time to process what Iím feeling or thinking, and itís in everyoneís interest to back off and leave me alone for awhile. Iím a much sweeter person when I have time to take it to Jesus.
Iím so glad Jesus looks beyond my faults and failures, and see a heart that truly loves Him and wants to please Him. I know these pesky buttons of mine are not from Him, but He helps me control it when I yield everything to Him.
Now that Iím in the autumn of my life, Iím happy to report that I control my buttons and they donít control meÖ.most of the time.
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