The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I loved this story. The beginning part was interesting but once you got to the quicksand story, I could feel my heart rate pick up and I leaned in closer to the computer.

I would love to see a story just on the quicksand part. I think it would be quite thrilling and interesting to hear the chatter as the kids approach the NO GO ZONE. I did enjoy it as it was told in the story but think it would be a phenomenal showing piece.

I could so relate to the MC worrying about her brother and the trouble she would get in once Mom realized what had happened (and everyone was home safe of course) I also could appreciate Mom maybe spouting off a bit about losing brand new boots. This story showed me that from your description of running home for help that you still have the heart of a child but the sending to room and being angry about boots showed the mind of an adult (and most likely a parent) This was a treat to read.
I really enjoyed your story and the way the park brought back memories to the MC, especially the quicksand memory. Thanks.
Great nostalgic detail wrapped into this story. Congratulations on your 2nd placing.
Congratulations for ranking 2nd in level three and 18 overall!