The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 289 times
Member Comments
Oh, this is good! Reminds me of a song by my favorite artist... "I believe He is the Christ, Son of the Living God, my Lord, my Savior!"

The only minor "red ink" I have for you (and it is very minor :) ) is to use "semi-truck" instead of MAC truck. One, it is a brand name, and two, for me, it broke up the flow of the paragraph just a bit.

Great job on this.
This is an intriguing story. I found myself engrossed from the first paragraph to the end. I think you did a nice job with your message and your words will touch many. Perhaps some will say having mysterious men who later turn out to be angels is overdone in the literary world. But I do believe that God sends angels to watch over us. I also liked how you built the character and showed her inner conflict in a way many can relate to. Nice job.
I try not to read other comments before I comment so I didn't see Allison's until I was done. Perhaps it's a geographical cliche or maybe it reflects our age but the saying I felt like I was hit by a Mac truck is quite common and wouldn't have the same ring to it if you subbed semi. Though she does make a good point about it being a brand name and something that not everyone would know that a Mack truck is a semi. (Oh and it is spelled Mack not MAC)
The mystery behind the two preachers was tangible. At first I was thinking "the two witnesses" from Revelation, then I did consider angels. I love your title in relation to your story. This story has the ability to grip the reader and to hang on long past when the reader finishes.
Wow, this is quite a story with a good strong message. Well written and gripping.
(Just to add to Alison's and Shann's comments - and confess my own ingnorance - here in UK I have not idea what either a MAC truck or a semi-truck is!!! Guess we would just say 'truck', 'lorry' or 'juggernaut'!!)
Thanks for a great story.
"I alone know the plans I have for you" What comforting words and what a beautiful, comforting piece. I love this exceptional story. Well written, thank you!

God Bless, Lynn
God would not have it that anyone be left behind - if we but listen to the "voices" whispering in our ears. Great job of showing this. Your MC and her plight and struggles and final revelation(s) were all very real and believable.
Your story is a reminder of each of our 'Divine appointments' made by God before the beginning of time. Beautifully crafted story, I enjoyed it very much.
Your story certainly had some intriguing elements! I do believe that God truly does "work in mysterious ways" at times. Nice job! :)
Strong sense of dramatic detail in your MC's mind and in the setting of the park.
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level three!