Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cup - 10-25-12 Deadline (10/18/12)

TITLE: Myson and Barney--Solving the World's Problems
By Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom
10/24/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Myson heard a knock at the door and the click-clack of Mommy’s shoes. He raced to his special hiding spot and watched Mommy escort Pastor Jim to the sofa. As the grown-ups chatted, little by little, Myson inched across the living room floor on his belly, listening to every word.

Pastor Jim cleared his throat and pointed to Myson. “I do believe there’s a puppy dog trying to hear our conversation.”

Myson giggled as he wiggled free from the confines of the table. “Me’s not a puppy. Me’s Myson.” He walked over with his head held high and offered his hand. “Howdy-do.”

After Pastor Jim shook his hand, Myson spun around, searching Mommy’s face for approval. Instead little drops of tears glistened across her cheeks. Myson dove into Mommy’s lap. He scrunched up his forehead and planted sloppy kisses all over her face. “Mommy, whaddsa madder?”

Mommy tickled Myson and smiled when he giggled. “Mommy is just missing Grandma, honey.”

“Did Padtor Jim make you cry?” Myson raised his eyebrows as he stared at the visitor relaxing in Daddy’s chair.

“Oh, no Pun’kin, we were talking about Grandma. I miss her and feel sad sometimes, but that’s okay.” She cupped her hand under Myson’s chin and turned his head so they were eye-to-eye. “However, do you know what is NOT okay?”

Lowering his shoulders, Myson wiggled in an attempt to free his chin from Mommy’s grip. “Listenin’ to the ‘dults talk?”

“You got it, dude! Not nice. Now go play and we’ll talk later.”

Myson scrambled out of Mommy’s lap and ran to his bedroom. He picked up his purple dinosaur and looked into its plastic eyes. “Mommy’s sad, Barney. I gotta make her happy again.”

His eyes widened and he put Barney under one arm as he scurried to the kitchen. “I know how to fix Mommy’s problem!” Dropping the stuffed toy on the floor, Myson grabbed a stool and pushed it to the pantry. Perching on the edge of the shelves, his chubby legs flexed as he scrambled up the cupboard.

A smile crept across his face as his fingers touched the edge of his special cup. With a bit of wiggling, he managed to free it with the tip of his finger. It toppled to the floor and Myson climbed down after it.

He picked it up and rubbed his hands across the faded picture that had been stamped on it. Looking back at him was the purple dinosaur, Barney. Myson looked around the kitchen and found the stuffed dinosaur swimming in the dog’s bowl. He scampered over and plucked the dinosaur from danger.

After drying Barney off with a dishtowel, Myson tip-toed to the foyer. He was just in time to see the door close. Scrunching up his face, he wrapped his arms around the soggy toy and the beloved cup. He could feel his chest pound as he looked at the cup and then at Mommy. With each look, he scrunched his face tighter. Mommy. Scrunch. Cup. Scrunch. Mommy.

Taking a deep breath, Myson threw back his shoulders and marched into the living room. Mommy swiped away the few tears that lingered on her cheeks as she scooped up her son. “That’s a serious-looking face, dear. What’s on your mind?”

Once more, Myson inhaled through his mouth and blew out through his nose. He swallowed hard and then thrust the cup into Mommy’s hands. “Here, it’s yours now.”

Mommy raised her right eyebrow. “You’re giving me your favorite cup—the one Grandma gave you?”

Biting his lower lip, Myson nodded.

Mommy pulled Myson closer. “Why?”

“Cuz you was crying when Padter Jim axed you to be in the choir. You says that you can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” He blinked his eyes and ran his fingers over Mommy’s lip. “I tried carrin’ a bucket once and it’s heavy. But my cup isn’t heavy at all, so I’m givin’ it to you so yous can carry a tune in it and sing in the choir—just like Grandma did.”

Mommy wrapped her arms around Myson and squeezed him tight. Tears plopped down her face and splashed on Barney. Her laughter filled the room. “Thank you, Myson. This is the best present ever.”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 359 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 10/25/12
Awww...this touched my heart and gripped it strongly.
Beautifully written and told. Thanks. God Bless~
clarissa aguilera10/25/12
THAT WAS ADORABLE...:)
Marie Hearty 10/25/12
AMAZING!!!!! I loved this. You did a great job with everything and it is very well written. I loved the ending... it brought a huge smile to my face. :)

God Bless!
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/26/12
So cute and so like a little kid to give up his prized possession for his mommy. Loved the misunderstanding of the holding a tune. Well done!
Laura Manley10/26/12
You had this reader from the beginning of your story to the end. I learned a lot re showing through your fantastic imagination and with your descriptive writing. This was a delight for me to read from start to finish! Excellent writing.
Dannie Hawley 10/30/12
What a delightful read! I can only echo what others have said. Priceless story and well-written piece. You rock!
Danielle King 10/31/12
This is truly delightful in every way. I was right there in the room with your characters. You brought them to life with your descriptive words, not too many, just enough. You were spot on topic and it flowed beautifully from beginning to end. I hope this entry does well and I think it will. Great stuff!
Myrna Noyes10/31/12
What a sweet, sweet story! I loved that little Myson! :) You did well with his dialogue and characterization! Great story with a lovely ending!
Ellen Carr 11/01/12
I really enjoyed your sweet story. The characters are well painted and ring true. Kids can be such a joy at times of grief and, in their own way, can break through, as Myson did, bringing laughter at the end.
Alicia Renkema01/22/13
Shann, I know you did this story last year, as a matter of fact it was for the same word that my son Matt won 2nd place for the beginner's level. This story had it all! Even the absolutely fun and original name of Myson. I could just picture the little fellow which isn't always easy for me to do with stories. You had me from the first word. I was intrigued with how sensitive he was to his mom and wanting to find a way to make her feel better. It also reminded me of times where I have been down and Matt would let me have one of his special mugs for a beverage I was having at a meal time. This story tugged at the heart strings and was so easy to identify with. You made the characters seem real, like we knew them. I am excited about reading more of your work. I hope you get an e-mail from Faith writer's about this message being here for you. You are a very special person and writer. Thank you so much for your support. I count it a privilege to be getting to know you. Love and blessings, Alicia
Alicia Renkema01/24/13
Shann, even though I've already told you via e-mail this story so touched me I just had to leave a message here for all to see. This story needs to be in a children's bed time story book! I just fell in love with little Myson and his mommy. By the end of the story, I find myself wishing that they could both come to my house and sit a spell with that special cup and some cookies... Thanks for sharing this warm-hearted story. jerseygirl
Barbara Caldwell 11/04/13
What touching story,you are truly a gifted writer.