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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Blessed (10/11/12)

TITLE: Heaven Gift
By Bryce Baker


Heaven Gift
Appreciate the gifts that are given to us in bounty and not the bounty in the gifts.
With that this story begins.
A few years ago my world was rocked when I met my new wife. Like most people in a new relationship it was an exhilarating experience. She took my breath away… but I finally pried her hands off my throat!
Our relationship is a result of both of us sailing rough seas in the past and connected spiritually and without compromise. We have truly been blessed with mutual understanding and patience in adjusting to a new beginning. Fortunately she has ADD (attention deficit disorder) and I with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder), so our arguments last three or four seconds. We either loose interest or forgot what we were arguing about.
Now, as most people entering a life relationship in marriage, I had her sign a Prenuptial Agreement. She has agreed that if she decides to leave and take all my money… she has to take me with her!
As in most remarriages there are children from our past. Again we are blessed with them joining with us in love and acceptance of an extended family. They just love the fact that they have more parents to borrow money from. Actually our now grown children are, and will always be Gods greatest blessing.
Back to my wife… They say that behind every great man stands a great women. In her case she stands with me at my side. If she doesn’t I’ll get lost! With her, the good times are with added sunshine, and the troubled times have to deal with her Irish disposition. I just duck and stay clear of the fireworks.
Many times I have been asked if I would change who I am or the past. My answer will remain the same without end. God has given us lesson to which we learn and grow, nurtured by his plan for us. How can we change his gift to us to build in him a true love. To fall to the ground is nothing with his hand raising us to our feet.
We are blessed.

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This article has been read 339 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Noel Mitaxa 10/20/12
And behind every successful man is an astounded mother-in-law. Loved the ironic twists here, but their impact was lessened by lack of spacing between your paragraphs.
Your material is good, but funny material needs a space for readers to catch the gag and sit with it before they find the next one zeroing in on their funny bone.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/21/12
This is a lovely story. I think you have a delightful sense of humor--self-deprecating and subtle--one of the best kinds. Your paragraph after the story begins is a great grabber. It made me want to keep reading.

I'd recommend that you start of with that (as there isn't a need to tell the reader the story is beginning) and then put the quote at the end in italics. The other thing I'd suggest would be save your exclamation points for dialog. Overusing them can diminish their effect not too mention you have outstanding words that do your exclaiming for you.

You did a wonderful job of writing on topic. This will be a story your family will always cherish and I'm honored you shared it with us. Nice job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/21/12
I try not to read comments before I comment so they don't influence me. What Noel was saying about the space was it's a good idea to double space between the paragraphs to give your reader that all important white space. It makes it easier to read, especially on the computer. Keep writing, you have a lot of natural talent. :)
Genia Gilbert10/21/12
This is really very good, even with the need for paragraph spacing. I loved your sense of humor and positive ending. Good writing.
lynn gipson 10/22/12
You are indeed blessed! Thanks for inspirational sharing! Excellent writing.

God Bless, Lynn
Hiram Claudio10/24/12
A special and humorous journey through the wonderfully challenging maze we call relationships. I enjoyed this piece very much.
C D Swanson 10/24/12
Interesting piece, I enjoyed it immensely.Thanks.

God bless~